The Grammar Games crowd reaction
A BAD NIGHT AT THE COLOSSEUM
(with apologies to Lisa Robbie)
[Somewhere in Hell, Day 6]
Review transcript:
1 Star: AVOID — THAT PLACE REALLY SMELLS.
When the stadium walls cracked, my friends and I snuck inside the Colosseum to take in the excitement of the show and try to find some snacks.
The VIPs were being fed grapes and olives by their interns. We found a delicious bruchetta… mmmm… and a perfect Pino Griggio to go with it.
Just as we were settling in to our place near the sideline seats, there was lightning and the voice of one of the Gods, I can’t remember who. She said “Oh no you di’int!” and then everyone started yelling and booing and throwing things at these bad guys.
Then there was this fantastic light show, with a shield that looked like it was going supernova or something. This was all way cool. But then it all went downhill.
This giant vagina of doom opens in the ground. Somebody grabs me and says “shut your eyes, Marion, don’t look at it, no matter what happens!” And I got scared. There were all these horrible screams and this foul smell that was worse than a yeast infection.
I’m sorry. The whole thing was ruined for me. You can’t raise people’s expectations like that and then ruin it. It’s like having antipasto and one of the black olives starts crawling off your plate.
I just had to run for the vomitorium and get out of there before something else bad happened.
I’m never coming back, and neither should you.
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