Dear Brain, WTF is Wrong with You Now?
The crazy dreams are back. I thought we settled this!
Hey there brain,
Let’s just cut to the chase. What is your problem now? I thought we mentally hugged this drama out, and our relationship was on the mend. However, I can’t help but notice that your mind-f*ckery has returned.
Not long ago, I demanded an apology from my body for the near-wetting-the-bed experiences. Now, I’m starting to believe it’s not my body at all: Just you, and I can tell you’ve gone entirely cray.
Want to know how I can tell you are the culprit and not my body sabotaging me? Because I’ve been treating myself better recently, and I thought you’d join us on this bandwagon. I have recently reduced how much alcohol I'm drinking and relearning what mature adults call “moderation.” I’m even starting to work out more again and eat more fruits and vegetables.
My body seems to have caught onto this healthy, new-and-improved me, but obviously, you — smarty pants — have not.
My body has bounced back in a lot of positive ways. My stomach doesn’t hurt as much, and my piss doesn’t look like someone just broke a neon lightbulb into the toilet. You might want to get with the program, sister.
