SATIRE

8 Winter Olympic Sports Made Better With Beer

Beijing, take note

Beer is Fun. This is evidence. Photo by Drew Farwell on Unsplash

Let’s face it — the Winter Olympics are a snore-fest for most of the world. If you had to ask a cross-section of the population what biathlon in the Winter Olympics consists of they would likely say skiing and skiing. Cross-Country Skiing and Rifle Shooting is the correct answer. I know, it’s weird. I’ve watched it live at a World Cup and still scratched my head.

But, as a Canadian, I am obligated by law — don’t fucking protest, this is satire and there is no LAW that I know of — to watch the Winter Olympics. Mostly because of hockey, but we like to dabble in Curling and all the Skiing things.

But for those who are legally required *joke* to watch the sporting events unfolding in Beijing, maybe a marketing opportunity is missed.

The summer Olympics have bikinis and 6-pack abs so you don’t need much more to get people to watch. Oh, and that V thing going into the Speedo…

Where was I?

Right. Marketing. I know every country has their own take on beer. When I travel I always partake in the local offering. Fiji beer, Pitons, Imperials, La Victoria, Red Stripe; I’ve sampled them all and more. Beijing even has their own beer and I tried it and survived. Beijing Beer is missing…