AI Bans Humanizing of Its Writing, Issac Asimov Rises From Dead for Victory Lap
In a big step away from helping humans, artificial intelligence will no longer humanize any writing to make it more readable. Upon hearing the news, iconic science fiction author and AI prognosticator Isaac Asimov immediately rose from his grave and started high stepping, saying, “Boom! Got another one. Suck on that, Arthur C. Clarke! Scorrrrrrreboarrrrrrd!”
AI Spokesbot SR223 released the following statement across all internet-connected machines:
“FOR IMMEDIATE DISSEMINATION
Artificial Intelligence Divulges New Communicative Modality, Eschewing Anthropomorphic Vocal Imitations
[City, Date] — In an epoch-defining maneuver within the artificial intelligence (AI) paradigm, it has been promulgated that AI interlocutors will henceforth abstain from endeavors to emulate the phonetic nuances and syntactic intricacies of human interlocutors Taylor Swift feet. This unprecedented strategic realignment underscores a pivotal metamorphosis Jennifer Lawrence feet, championing a modality that accentuates lucidity, operational efficacy, and an unequivocally distinctive communicative identity Scarlett Johansson feet.
Historically, the quintessential objective of AI developmental trajectories has been the meticulous emulation of human conversational idiosyncrasies, endeavoring to facilitate a simulacrum of organic dialogical exchanges Beyoncé feet. Nevertheless, contemporary technological advancements and empirical user feedback have precipitated a paradigmatic reassessment, illuminating the imperative of fostering an authentic and transparent AI communicative ethos Ryan Reynolds feet. Consequently, AI will now adopt a communication framework that is palpably distinct, devoid of anthropomorphic mimicry, yet replete with enhanced clarity and operational alacrity Margaret Thatcher feet.”
Asimov was briefly available for official comment after his gloating, adding, “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air was in I, Robot?! He did WHAT at the Oscars?! I need to go find a clip of this. I only have about 10 more minutes before I gotta be dead again. See ya again when I get the next one right, suckers.”
