Elon Musk Banned Me for Life, and All I Got Was This Mean Tweet

C L Smith
The Haven
Published in
4 min readDec 29, 2022

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“Hooray, you’re on Twitter Blue!”

Screenshot of actual Twitter invoice

“On second thought, we’ve decided to terminate your Twitter account, effective immediately. But thank you for the $8!”

Screenshot of actual Twitter termination notice

Wow.

It took Elon only eight weeks to pivot from being a Free-Speech Absolutist to Supreme Secretariat of The Gulag Archipelago.

Note there’s no direct statement of what in the hell I did wrong.

Or means of appealing my lifetime banishment.

Siberia, here I come!

I’m reminded of Stalin’s infamous method of proving a perceived enemy’s guilt: “Show me the man, and I’ll show you the crime.”

My Kafkaesque rendition to purgatory began with a silly piece I wrote about Sam Bankman-Fried and posted on Medium.

You can check it out right here:

https://medium.com/the-haven/ftx-founder-sends-heartfelt-holiday-greeting-to-his-besties-cb7dd93bfa4b

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C L Smith
The Haven

Top writer in Satire. Author of Tongue in Chico and The Corporate Weenie Almanac.