The Haven
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The Haven

Essential English idioms for 21st century. Part II

Coming up with distinct names for undeservingly untitled social phenomenons.

Part I:

A rotten aubergine

A joke that is incredibly funny when you tell it to a friend in person, but which is too offensive or inappropriate to tell it in public

To cut an Irish deal

To get a terrible, shitty, disgusting haircut, but pretend that you’re happy with it — and compliment the hairdresser — to avoid confrontation

To pull a César

To pretend that you haven’t seen a text with an invitation to a social event; then text back two days later saying you already had plans

To shatter an ashtray

To be forced to quickly change the subject from highly personal to highly superficial when a stranger at a party unexpectedly joins your private conversation with a close friend

To bury the unborns

To text with your partner who’s stuck in an awkward conversation at the other side of the table at the same dinner party and together come up with socially acceptable excuses for leaving early

To look for a shilling in an empty pocket

To accidentally bump into someone you vaguely knew 15 years ago and start a conversation just to be nice — while simultaneously hating yourself for not being able to politely nod and walk away

To keep a rabbit at a five-feet distance

To be annoyed by the way someone acts on social media, but still keep following them for no rational reason

To keep a firm grip on the furious lamb

To check the age of a successful and famous stranger you accidentally saw on Facebook to make sure that they are not younger than you

The Armenian brine

An obscure expensive cocktail that you don’t even like, but keep ordering to impress a date with your refined and exquisite taste

My friend told me she didn’t see the link above (honestly I have no idea how you could miss it, Chris), so here it is again. Part I:



A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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