Floccinaucinihilipilification
I’m Finally in the 1K Followers Club — But I’m Scared of the Dragons
Wait! Read the Kicker first
Let me finish this once and forever by thanking all you Mediumers who have followed me until now.
I have immense respect for you all — You guys did a pathetic job following me.
Yep! I was addicted to seeing that three-digit number in my follower list. Then who, the fuck on this planet asked you to follow me? Just tell me the name. I intend to thank him-her in person.
Besides, I’m so grateful to my co-stars, the director, the producer, and the flawless Medium team for making this possible. Without you guys, it would have been unpossible for me to write this post.
No — Literally, I’m so happy today that I’m declaring a holiday tomorrow for this so-un-possible achievement made in a decade.
Cheers! Thank me later.
Okay — Kidding apart! Let me now say something like a fucking human.
So, on a serious note, I didn’t wake up this morning and saw my Medium profile now has 1k followers. Fuck*
A few decades ago, when I published my first article on Medium, I had only a few thousand followers, and I didn’t even think I would make it this far. No — I thought I’d go to 100k straight.
But here I am with this big-time achievement that feels like I’m daydreaming.
Seriously — I wish to thank you guys from the core of my lungs, especially those who never miss engaging with my posts. And, to the ones who clap and run — I know you’re busy saving this world from Dinosaurs. Yet, Thankyou so much for your efforts — may you fall from your bed while sleeping.
WTFness
So that I’ve finally made it to the 1k followers club, I’ve decided to celebrate tomorrow’s holiday with my followers. Consider this my success party for you all.
Let me show you how I’ve planned to make this day special.
To begin with,
I want you all to meet me in the center of the Known World tomorrow at owl’s hour. No, we have nothing to do with the Mysterious Lost World.
Accordingly, I’ll take you all in my F-14 Tomcat to Beyond The Wall. Just don’t bring extra baggage — We’re already out of Space.
After this journey around the world, as we reach Winterfell, we will have breakfast there at 9 a.m. in King’s Landing. No need to be on time — They have no clock.
Once we finish our hunger games, I’ll take you, fellas, on a surprise road trip in my 1001-seater Lamborghini Aventador LP 750–4 Superveloce Roadster — We’ll be going to the Island of Dragonstone.
Of course, you’ll get to capture your favorite Pokemons over there. But don’t forget to bring your own Pokeballs. Wait, what? Didn’t I say Dinosaurs? Yea, You got me!
Some pointless points to keep in mind when visiting the House of the Dragons, I suppose -
- Don’t remember, our motive for visiting there is to steal the Dragon’s egg — It’s in high demand in the black market.
- Every individual has to keep a fire extinguisher with them, even in the toilets. We don’t trust the Dragons — and you can’t fuck with them.
- Still, consider yourself as fucked as hell if you hear someone saying “Dracarys.” Yea — You can use an Umbrella, either.
- You can’t just Dohaeras or Lykiri or Umbas them. They are not your pet — I bet.
- You can find free Booze and WiFi somewhere around in a Starbucks HOTEL. Don’t worry — They’ll digitally hide the Mug later.
- The passcode for free WiFi is ‘How to pet a Dragon’ (with no Question mark).
- Keep calm and wait for your turn — one White Walker per person. What? Didn’t you hear “White Mischief?” Ah, you aren’t Arya Stark.
- While performing high jumps in the swimming pool, watch out for the baby dragons playing there, as to harm them is a big-time crime, according to Grandmother of Dragons.
- Be sure to use the crane to raise the baby dragons while playing with them.
- Don’t be afraid to see the dragons screeching out — They get scared seeing humans playing with their babies.
- Not to forget that you’ll have to kick your mate and run whenever you see angry dragons around you. No — You don’t compete with me — I’m fast as fuck.
- Yea, we’ll then go and watch belly Dance of the Dragons.
- While leaving Targaryens busy in between family politics and making babies, we’ll arrange a musical chair competition, and the winner will take over the Iron Throne from the king.
- At last, we’ll do a quick count of how many of us are returning back alive. No — You don’t fuck with the Targaryens, either.
- While coming back from Jurassic Park (if we make it out alive), we’ll go to the Apple store — I’ll giveaway iPhone 15 Ultra Pro Max to all my followers for the joy of being survived.
And-also-plus…
- Lastly, what better occasion to announce my first Rejected book titled “How to Trick People and Feed to the Dragons?” Giving away free copies only to the live ones. Don’t be a Biblioklept.
Now that you have dragged yourself till here, you know it’s all Floccinaucinihilipilification — and you accept — I always fuck things up, Right?
So, don’t be a bumfuzzle to follow me and move it to the 100k club. I don’t care how! Even if it takes so long that I may die of old age. But I want those three digits back on my profile. Please Dude!
Until then, keep following and keep growing [me].
Ich yo boi Shaqib — signing off!!!
Thanks for wasting your time reading this post! And you can follow me here to waste more of your time. Plus, do not forget to show your love & support by buying me a chai.
