The Spaghetti Cone of Uncertainty — Part Two
Living Out Loud — Zero to Sixty-something… but with 100 MPH winds!!
Hurricane Ian is a real tool. Today is Wednesday and the storm has finally made it up the Gulf of Mexico. Ian is dancing off the shores of Venice which are about 240 miles south of us. The models adjust hourly, so until this dude makes landfall, we sit on pins and needles, and let me tell you, it hurts.
Living in an armpit…
As I mentioned in my first story about life in “The Spaghetti Cone of Uncertainty”, https://medium.com/@RozPotenza/the-spaghetti-cone-of-uncertainty-5e8292882531, we are hunkered down waiting for the weather. Hurricanes are unique weather happenings because of this enormous waiting period. Tornadoes and earthquakes hit and run but hurricanes meander, like a Sunday driver. We’ve decided to ride the storm out at home even as people scratch their heads as to why we would do that. Look, I have a friend who left for Orlando. The track changed since he left and now… it’s tracking OVER Orlando. That’s one reason why we stayed put.
Some of us hunker better than others.
As we hunker, I check with my news sources at least for as long as we have power. I watch as hapless news crews brave the elements and cameramen find something… anything to show the world how scary things are here. It’s usually a long shot of water with some palm trees blowing in the background. Palm trees love to look all blow-y and they can achieve this without the bluster of a hurricane. All those long fronds flap around like Farrah Faucett’s hair and if you don’t get that reference, you can leave now.
Yappity-yap... don’t talk back!!
Governor Sanctimonious is on the air constantly, his lips flapping as much as those palm fronds. I don’t watch him. I’m endlessly fascinated with sign language folks who are usually on the left-hand side of the screen. My favorite signer is this woman with gorgeous long white hair and cool black framed glasses. She’s so animated, flailing her arms and making all sorts of faces. What can I say? This is compelling TV right now. Truth is, it’s ALL THAT’S ON. Every station interrupts normal programming so all you can watch is the coverage of the storm over and over and over. And over.
Back to those news crews. I’ve been watching this one guy who is soaking wet and still trying to do his job. It’s impressive but unnecessary. Tell me why news affiliates do this. Does it really give us more information? I’ve seen these guys have too many close calls when flying debris whiz by their heads. How much do they get paid to do this? I can’t help but focus on the home behind the guy… specifically the mailbox of the homeowner. The mailbox flap is open and a package is clearly visible in there. These guys have been there for HOURS! Can’t somebody do this family a solid and at least CLOSE THE MAILBOX DOOR?? I keep yelling that to the guy every time he’s on but clearly he can’t hear me. Sure… he’s got 90 MPH winds going into his earholes!!
A true Blow Job for the West Coast of Florida
I’m now tuned into the weather channel and the smartest thing I’ve seen so far is the guy on the ground wearing a baseball helmet. He’s barely able to stand against the wind as Ian makes landfall. Those lovely blow-y palm fronds have been sheered off some trees and you don’t see that with any pedestrian storm. Ian blew up to a near Catagory 5 in strength — a real douche move on his part. Still, we feel pretty damned lucky even as this storm clears branches off my trees. The aftermath of these storms is the real tell and I know it will be a long recovery for our coast. Cayo Costa, close to Ft. Myers, is where he made landfall and over a million people are without power. No power sucks out loud because after this thing leaves, the heat returns. No air conditioning and floods and a lack of provisions will be many peoples reality for a while.
To Pee or Not To Pee.
I have to try and get my two Great Danes outside for a potty break. Talk about peeing into the wind. This should be fun, eh? It’s one of the many facets of a storm like this that lasts and lasts. Wish us luck and stay tuned for my final installment after this storm passes. Ciao!
