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The Hmmingbird
News that feels sooooo real.
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Person pays grocery bill by doing “a little jig.”
Person pays grocery bill by doing “a little jig.”
Or you can sing for your supper too!
Sexy Hermit
Jul 29
Time Traveler RETURNS! Says Brooks and Reiner still slaying with the 3000-year-old man bit.
Time Traveler RETURNS! Says Brooks and Reiner still slaying with the 3000-year-old man bit.
“As the eons pass they just keep adding another zero to the end to stay relevant.”
Sexy Hermit
Jul 30
California outlaws guns that vape.
California outlaws guns that vape.
Sacramento, California, The Capitol, 2:09 p.m. 09/13/2019 –
Sexy Hermit
Sep 13, 2019
Train robberies up 1027% with more states succumbing to masking up pressure.
Train robberies up 1027% with more states succumbing to masking up pressure.
Seymour, Indiana, 12:27 pm, July/23/2020
Sexy Hermit
Jul 24, 2020
Opinion: My face is not full enough
Opinion: My face is not full enough
WTF is going on? Its 9 am on Thanksgiving and I don’t have food in my mouth. Why the fuck did my ancestors leave other perfectly good…
Sexy Hermit
Nov 28, 2019
Mexico agrees to pay for the wall mural.
Mexico agrees to pay for the wall mural.
— Tijuana, Mexico 12:33 pm 09/16/2019
Sexy Hermit
Sep 16, 2019
Latest
Netflix announces new show category: “Dinner Safe.”
Netflix announces new show category: “Dinner Safe.”
Can I eat spaghetti and not see someone's intestines tonight, please?
Sexy Hermit
May 16
Trump Doubles Down on Dogma.
Trump Doubles Down on Dogma.
Now pushing his versions of the Qur’an, Gita, Torah, Guru Granth Sahib, Tripitaka, and Newton’s Philosophiæ Naturalis Principia…
Sexy Hermit
Apr 1
Biden and US Surgeon General announce WhereBabiesComeFrom.Gov site.
Biden and US Surgeon General announce WhereBabiesComeFrom.Gov site.
“We hope this site makes it clear to The People how it all… really . . . works, ya know?” US Surgeon General.
Sexy Hermit
Jul 5, 2023
TX Sheriff’s Random Checkpoints Yield No Abortions, but an Abundance of Bewilderment
TX Sheriff’s Random Checkpoints Yield No Abortions, but an Abundance of Bewilderment
“We won’t stop until we find every single one of them,” Sheriff Larious.
Sexy Hermit
May 26, 2023
“Man and Cat” owns Cannes.
“Man and Cat” owns Cannes.
The mundane movie masterpiece of the millennia.
Sexy Hermit
May 21, 2023
Fox News Renamed ‘Faux News’ to Better Reflect Their ‘Unique’ Style of Reporting.
Fox News Renamed ‘Faux News’ to Better Reflect Their ‘Unique’ Style of Reporting.
It’s all conspiracy all the time now.
Sexy Hermit
May 19, 2023
Elon Musk’s Daily Affirmation New Age Podcast: A Journey into Uncharted Ego-Space
Elon Musk’s Daily Affirmation New Age Podcast: A Journey into Uncharted Ego-Space
Pushing the boundaries of being less than everyone thinks you are.
Sexy Hermit
May 19, 2023
The Conservative Right’s Freshest Fear
The Conservative Right’s Freshest Fear
“Drag” racing.
Sexy Hermit
May 18, 2023
Trump’s Time Capsule: Making America Great Again… FOREVER!
Trump’s Time Capsule: Making America Great Again… FOREVER!
One gold-plated pandora's box at a time.
Sexy Hermit
May 18, 2023
U.S. Treasury’s National Debt Default Declared the “Best Financial Move Ever” with Trump’s…
U.S. Treasury’s National Debt Default Declared the “Best Financial Move Ever” with Trump’s…
Trump plans to turn a financial lemon into a 2024 lemonade.
Sexy Hermit
May 17, 2023
Elon Musk’s “Artificial Elon” (AE) decision maker exposed.
Elon Musk’s “Artificial Elon” (AE) decision maker exposed.
“Dangerously stupid, bro.” say close friends.
Sexy Hermit
May 12, 2023
Tucker Carlson Reveals His Secret Life After Being Summarily Canned from Fox News
Tucker Carlson Reveals His Secret Life After Being Summarily Canned from Fox News
“It’s a refreshing change of pace from the toxic political environment I was in before.”
Sexy Hermit
May 6, 2023
Trump to choose VP, with a game show, of course.
Trump to choose VP, with a game show, of course.
“The White House Apprentice: VP Edition, is happening!”
Sexy Hermit
May 6, 2023
Tucker and Elon: A Journey of Personal Growth
Tucker and Elon: A Journey of Personal Growth
Streaming now on Netflix: “Tucker’s Transformation!”
Sexy Hermit
May 4, 2023
Trump’s Third Term Begins!
Trump’s Third Term Begins!
Making America Great Again and Again and Again!
Sexy Hermit
May 4, 2023
The Supreme Court Deems Suffering as “Essential Human Right,” Pulls Plug on Benevolent AGI
The Supreme Court Deems Suffering as “Essential Human Right,” Pulls Plug on Benevolent AGI
“Pain and suffering are essential aspects of the human condition. The right to feel lost and worthless must be protected.”
Sexy Hermit
May 4, 2023
Leonardo Da Vinci’s Family Sues Helicopter Manufacturers for Stealing Ancient Helicopter Design
Leonardo Da Vinci’s Family Sues Helicopter Manufacturers for Stealing Ancient Helicopter Design
“It’s a clear case of intellectual property theft!”
Sexy Hermit
May 3, 2023
The writers’ strike now has an even crazier faction.
The writers’ strike now has an even crazier faction.
#QWERTYRevolution
Sexy Hermit
May 3, 2023
Breaking News: Trump Unveils Bold Campaign Platform: “Make America Magical Again”
Breaking News: Trump Unveils Bold Campaign Platform: “Make America Magical Again”
“It’s a lot like common sense, but way more fun, I think!”
Sexy Hermit
May 2, 2023
Breaking News: Local Teen Discovers Secret to World Peace — It Involves a Viral TikTok Dance!
Breaking News: Local Teen Discovers Secret to World Peace — It Involves a Viral TikTok Dance!
#Dance4Peace
Sexy Hermit
May 2, 2023
Breaking News: World Leaders Discover Miraculous Solution to Climate Change — They’re Going to…
Breaking News: World Leaders Discover Miraculous Solution to Climate Change — They’re Going to…
“The world tour of global conferences now begins!”
Sexy Hermit
May 2, 2023
Florida Man DeSantis Takes on “Cloned Walt Disney” in an “Epic” Cage Match
Florida Man DeSantis Takes on “Cloned Walt Disney” in an “Epic” Cage Match
Salagadoola mechicka boola WTF?!
Sexy Hermit
May 2, 2023
New startup eyes big money in flooded subways.
New startup eyes big money in flooded subways.
“Soon the only thing down there will be my submarines.”
Sexy Hermit
Jan 17, 2023
Introducing . . . the Wyze flash grenade.
Introducing . . . the Wyze flash grenade.
The most disruptive technology ever conceived is now only $29.
Sexy Hermit
Jan 12, 2023
“Ambition Spectrum Disorder” now listed on the DSM-5
“Ambition Spectrum Disorder” now listed on the DSM-5
Musk, Bezos, and Trump are now officially “abnormal.”
Sexy Hermit
Dec 6, 2022
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