Directing my first feature film: Day 2 and my irrational fear of stupid things

As we continue along this filmmaking journey for n00bs, I plan to keep gathering nuggets of knowledge to share with others. Even if they aren’t useful to you, it’s hella helpful for me to just sort of think out loud while I write.

Here’s some thoughts, general feelings and observations after our second shoot day on ‘Moving Ashley.’

Know your work style

This feels like a weird one, but I’m honestly learning so much about myself and how I function as a manager/director through this process. The tip feels akin to knowing your “love language” and it is similar in the sense that it’s important to understand that people have very different ways of thinking about things and very different ways of communicating.

For example, I hate being told no.

I pretty much hate being on the receiving end of any form of a no being delivered. So as my husband and I were going over the shot list for the scenes we planned to tackle for today’s shoot, we ended up getting heated. And not in the fun way for husbands and wives…

He started going through all the things that wouldn’t work which started making my blood boil. Eventually I said to him, “You keep throwing a whole lot of ‘this is not going to work’ at me and I really need you to flip that and start throwing out ‘here’s what we can make work’ ideas.”

It was interesting from a psychological perspective because for him, he was basically going through a mental process of elimination to arrive at what those viable options were for him. For me, it just felt like I was getting shot down over and over and over again — it felt like a rejection of the work I was offering up. That’s not what was happening. At all.

We’re still going to argue in the future on this project. Most definitely. But it helped us realize some of the inner workings of ourselves and one another and how to better navigate a situation like that in the future.

Being aware of a communication style and being able to shift as it as needed is such a key skill to establishing and maintaining successful partnerships with other creatives.

Quiet on set

Today was a bigger production day as far as the sheer amount of people we had on set. In my professional introduction on resumes and LinkedIn, I brag about being a multi-tasking master. Sounds don’t usually bother me, multiple things coming at me at the same time tend to excite me and I’m a bit laid back on set in MOST circumstances (exceptions would be on sensitive or highly emotional scenes during which I try to be as respectful to the actors as possible as they prep, stay in character and work through that flow) but that doesn’t work for everyone.

I’ve been on sets that don’t allow chatter or talking between shooting. I’ve been on sets that have the luxury of having a separate holding area for cast and crew to be as loud as the want during filming, so it doesn’t matter. Mostly I’ve been on low-to-no budget indie sets that call quiet on set just before being ready to shoot and everyone adjusts and adheres accordingly and that is the ebb and the flow of the shoot.

Today I learned the importance of thinking about where to have cast and crew placed so as not to interfere with shooting or planning/set up of the next shot. We didn’t have a lot of room so our options were limited, but I should have thought about it. I didn’t. So calling quiet on set at regular intervals was the next best thing, even when not filming.

It’s totally ok, nay awesome, to ask for quiet on set whenever you need. Take those uncluttered moments to breathe, take a step back and make sure you have everything you need or think about how to pivot if the shoot hasn’t gone as planned. Again, for someone like my husband, having quiet time to be alone with his thoughts is really crucial.

Note taken for next time!

It’s not your job to best friends with everyone on set

I’m stealing this (straight up, legit stealing) from one of my actors who was on set today. He’s a first time producer on another major project and shared some of his insights with me after that experience and I thought this was so wise. A little mean, but necessary and so, so wise.

Your focus is to make the production as good and as strong as possible. So if that means you need to remove someone from set, ask a cast or crew member to discontinue certain behaviors or make changes that maybe an actor doesn’t like, then so be it.

I’m not here to get a new friendship bracelet out of the deal with someone, I’m here to do a job and do a damn good one.

I talk pretty tough in this segment, but really, I need a bit more practice with this.

I was scared to death to work with a kid actor! But I didn’t have to be.

Seriously. I was so worried about this, I’m pretty sure I gave myself a stomach ache. I’ve acted opposite of kids before on other sets and found it to be an excruciating experience. Either the parents are way more into it than the kids are or their attention span is virtually non-existent or their delivery is inconsistent.

Luckily, we didn’t have that experience today. I owe this once again to not rushing in casting and pre-production. We were very careful about casting this role and it paid off. Do your homework!

I also found that being really direct and literal, more so than with most adult actors, was extremely helpful and giving him advance notice of what was to come next so he wasn’t caught unprepared. I also encouraged him a significant amount. But I mean, come on, he deserves it!

He was like this mature, little human that was giving me a solid, steady performance and we all had at least two decades on him. I also found myself wanting to give him a positive experience so as not to discourage him for pursuing his craft and career further. That was important to me.

That fear is all in your head

We’ve had quite a few people ask to either come help out or observe on our set. A lot of these people are individuals who’ve been in the industry a lot longer than me and are what I would consider pros.

My ego and my pride was…is…was, meh still kinda is very concerned about this. My negative self-thought record player started spinning a track in my head. This is what is said:

They just want to come judge how badly you’re doing.

or

They’re coming to laugh at you. Cuz you always post all the stuff you’re doing so they just want to see you mess up.

or

Maybe they do really want to help, but then when they see how you do stuff they’ll want to back out because they’ll realize you really, truly do have no idea what you’re doing.

First, no one is that mean or that vindictive. If they are, then that’s on them for being a terrible person.

Second, all of that fear is just insecurity. Don’t let it win.

And third, every successful person on the planet, from Ira Glass to Robert Rodriguez talks about how the natural order of things is to be bad before you’re good.

It makes sense right? You learn by doing. You have to do it. You will be bad at it when you first start out and you will get better the more you do it. There’s no way around that system for 99% of the population. So don’t feel bad about that process or hide yourself in this fort of self-protection while you’re in it to avoid criticism.

Constructive criticism is imperative to growth and development. Learning and getting guidance from people more experienced or talented than you is immeasurably valuable.

So today, when basically my mentor — the guy who taught me how to act and ultimately most of what I know about film, wanted to come be on my set, I was mortified. And I almost said no. Almost. But I didn’t.

Having him on set and watching him work was so, so helpful. He handled things with such ease and precision and confidence and it was once again like having a light shined on an area of opportunity for me — he is what I’m working to become, so of course I should have him there. Of course I should hear what he has to say and glean as much knowledge from him as possible. He’s not judging me, he’s supporting me.

Is it uncomfortable? Yes, because I’m a nervous person and already hard on myself, but will it make me a better director and filmmaker, yes it will.

Worth it. Always worth it.

Thank your team and make it personal

Last week I was so stressed about sound I thought we were going to have to reshoot everything at a new location. When we heard the audio it was like a miracle. We seriously had the best boom op and sound guy EVER. Our equipment rocks which is helpful, but this guy is like an angel sent to earth if angels looked like football players.

I’m pretty sure I hugged him and thanked him and praised him at least 5 times today. I want him to know how much we appreciate what he does and that we couldn’t do this without him.

I want to make the effort to do this with everyone, because it’s true. There is so much time and talent and resources being invested into this by each person whose name shows up on those callsheets each shoot day and it can’t go unnoticed or unsaid.

I’m so thankful for everyone who shows up and works their butts off to make this happen. There’s a reason there’s a million names in film credits and when you do indie, that list is so much shorter but there’s no less work. People step up, they take on more and they often do if for less pay and less notoriety and it’s a remarkable act of selflessness and a commitment to the art.

Thank you, I respect you. I’m talking to you craft services and MUAs. I’m talking to all of the grips and PA’s and everyone. Thank you.

Cheers until next week! We are weekend-warrioring this project and this upcoming weekend will be our first back-to-back shoot day. If I don’t die, you’ll be hearing from me about it went.

Have any tips about how to prepare? Feel free to share them with me!

Missed the blog on our first shoot day? Check it out here.

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