All or nothing.
After an eternity of searching for a true passion and meaning beyond my ‘work’ I’ve concluded that I’m now officially an ultra runner and I’m gonna let that statement define me.
Woke up this morning with legs like rock solid wobbly jelly. Running non stop for four and a half hours will do that to you. Reading up about post race recovery methods has become a standard part of my day as I become more and more fixated on the wider prize… freedom.
Incredible, if I don’t say so myself, that you can train the body and more importantly mind to go from literally zero to actual ultra in a relatively short period of time – mind over matter, total belief, passion and laser dedication is the switch you turn on.
Although I have experimented with running over the last 3 years, stacking up daily micro miles (5km aimed to reduce hangovers) and finishing the london marathon (hating every bit of the last 10 miles), it’s these last 120 days, post my big change that’s really been where I’ve seen the gains both mentally and physically… it’s during these last months the mindset changes have really played their part in my renewed passion for life and learning.
I recently went back to my old college (Bath Spa) where I had attempted to study – what I didn’t realise at the time was that although I wasn’t any good at the study side I had a naturally inbuilt aptitude to motivate others to do things that I needed them to do or was unable to do myself. It wasn’t until later in my career when I started ustwo that I realised that was actually a useable skill, in fact I don’t think I had ever really respected myself for that. Probably half the reason I’ve never felt fulfilled because I’ve always been searching for something that I can put my name to… (note to self, might be worth exploring the above in another post because this isn’t what you started this paragraph for)
So anyway, I’d gone back to give a talk to the current students about my time post uni life and I’d gone with my good friend Mr Bingo who was doing the same – he’d been at the uni at the same ish time.
For anyone who’s been lucky enough to watch Bingo speak you’ll know he’s one of the most talented creatives on the planet and also one of the funniest. He’s also the most poignant – I watched in awe as his comedy routine played out, students jaws wide open throughout… and then he said something which hit me right in the feelz.
He described something along the lines of him having been a trained illustrator, doing illustrations for clients and being doing commercially well because of it. But then one day he decided he wouldn’t work for clients anymore – I don’t know if he’d had enough but he decided he didn’t want to be known as an illustrator – and he decided to call himself an ‘artist’. He didn’t know if he was an artist by definition, but he wanted to be seen as one, and wanted to believe he was one, so he just said he was one. Utter fucking legend. I loved his bravery. (He’s defiantly now one imo)
I’ve always struggled when someone asks me what I do (often having to think off the bat wether I say graphic designer (I’m defs not one anymore), company owner, mobile Games maker, investor (trust me I rarely pull that one out as it’s so lame) etc – the fact is nothing has ever really sat as I like doing so much.
Then (as in yesterday morning the night after my 30 mile epic) it hit me – I love running so much and I’m going to train so hard to totally smash 100mile races over time.
I’m going all in and it’s genuinely the one thing I do that makes me so happy – I’m not a jon description, I’m a fucking ULTRA RUNNER and I’m going to let that define me – first thing anyone asks me, ULTRA RUNNER… it makes me happy and it’s what I am… when I talk this will define me. It’s where my inner passion lies.
Deal with it.
