Conversation with My Wife (101)

Travels with Deb, local bed & breakfast edition

Usually we do B&Bs for our anniversary, which is in February, so being able to sit on the front porch and not die of exposure was nice. Big thumbs up for the Harvest Moon B&B in New Holland, PA, by the way.

Deb and I are enjoying a weekend at a bed & breakfast, thanks to a gift certificate from our wonderful family. We spent Friday night seeing The Hunchback of Notre Dame musical at a local theatre, and Saturday bumming around the county (beautiful weather for driving through the countryside), poking our heads in shops, and seeing Oceans 8 in a movie theater.

So that meant getting in and out of the car frequently.

DEB: (loud whisper) I’m going to leave my purse in the car this time!

ME: (loud whisper back) Okay!

DEB: (still loud whisper) I’m going to tuck it in back!

ME: (still loud whisper) Is there someone in back who might be listening?

We have lunch at a farm restaurant after buying $60 of cheese and dips there to take home. (They had free samples. I don’t think I can be held responsible when there are free samples.)

ME: Awww! Did you see the couple in the corner? She gave him a kiss before she left the table.

DEB: All of us women do that, honey. That way we make sure you guys are still there when we get back.

ME: Really?

DEB: (matter-of-factly) Common knowledge.

Later, after putting our cheese in a cool spot, we’re getting ready to depart again from our B&B room.

DEB: Are we ready? Are we set? Are we psyched? Two out of three?

ME: Almost! (I move in for a kiss)

DEB: Honey! That is so cute! (smooch) You turned your hat around so the bill wouldn’t poke me and everything! You should take a selfie and post it.

I know she was just razzing me, but here goes:

I have no idea why I didn’t get more romantic action when I was single. Permission granted to use the above photo to terrorize young children into eating their green veggies or stop teasing their little sisters.

We wake up before the alarm and snuggle into place together, dozing in and out of coherency, enjoying the first “B” of B&B.

ME: Hmmm-mmmmm-hhmm!

DEB: Mmm?

ME: Mmmmm-hhhmm-mmmhhh.

DEB: Mmm-hmm!

Which, roughly translated, means “I like this!” “How so?” “I just feel safe and at peace with you.” “Me too!”

But then we have to get up, because somebody else is making breakfast, which is the second “B” of B&B, after all.

Ham and french toast, left; biscuit & gravy, right. I never make this at home, and I’d never even order it in a restaurant because of the carbs, but hey, once it’s already cooked, it’s only polite to eat it, true?

And when I finish my shower and open the shower curtain, somebody who loves me has already moved my towel from the far side of the bathroom to the hook next to the shower.

Copyright © 2018 by Jack Herlocker; all rights reserved.

Conversations with My Wife (collection)