Conversation with My Wife (148)
Nature. It’s in our backyard. Nibbling on our bushes.
DEB: They’re here!
We like to sit in our four-season porch at breakfast, reading magazines or (during the winter months) piles of catalogs. We have glass on three sides, so we have a good view of the yard. So we can watch our birds come to feed, or Orson (our fat groundhog) scurry to or from his burrow under the porch (I try to discourage him — it isn’t going well), or little furry butts wag in the air as the squirrels bury nuts or dig up somebody else’s, or… the deer.
We have a family of a mama doe and two fawns. They’ve been in the neighborhood about a year or so. We will see them near dusk or just after, checking out nearby fields (our development is right next to a small cattle farm, with two out of three fields devoted to field corn) or neighbors. But sometimes they stroll through our yard.
Or madly dash, just after Christmas. They’d been strolling through the backyards at no particular rush, the kids never getting more than fifty feet or so from mama. Then one of the fawns soundlessly screamed “YOU’RE IT!” at the other and they took off running, dashing through our yard to the neighbor on the other side, then back:
Watching them run was an emotional mix of “Wow, that’s awesome!” and “No no, kids, careful, those are loose stones, you could twist an ankle or split a hoof or something!”
DEB: This is what I want in retirement. Sitting on our back porch, watching our little piece of the world. Reading or writing or listening or just relaxing.
ME: Fourteen more days, honey!¹
DEB: Ten more working days, honey!
Of course, she originally had December 24 as her very last day. And then her successor quit after eight days on the job, so Deb agreed to stay through January, so her NEW successor could have a couple weeks to get trained up. And her boss wondered why it would take so long? (It was only sixteen years of experience in the job, after all.) And Deb blinked at him, smiled, and made it January 16 for her last day. And when her boss later said, “But we can call you if we have any problems, right?”, Deb replied that THAT ship had sailed, thank you. With an evil glare, I assume.
And then… we’re watching the deer go by!²
¹This was the morning of January 3, 2020, so that day still counted as one.
²Or might be just me. Deb just interviewed with a firm for a temp job through tax season. Normal hours, no weekends, no texts or emails from the boss about stupid stuff that will set her off. And a chance to ease into retirement slowly. [EDIT: the firm called yesterday and offered Deb the job. So I will continue to be the happy house husband, making her lunch and having supper ready when she gets home. Which will NOT be close to 7PM, as it is with her soon-to-be-former employer.]
Copyright © 2020 by Jack Herlocker. All rights reserved; don’t make me send my deer buddies over to eat your rose buses!
