Conversation with My Wife (58)

“Workhorse reliability… immunity to crashes and viruses…”

Breakfast at the Herlockers. We each have our catalogs. Mine is Vermont Country Store, which, for those who don’t know, finds things to sell that are so out of date they’re nostalgic.

ME: Seriously?!

DEB: What?

ME: Vermont Country Store. They have a word processor with “20-keystroke memory” and “auto word correction.”

DEB: What? (looks) It’s a typewriter.

ME: How does “auto word correct” work on a typewriter? You type in “peice” and the thing goes backspace-whiteout-backspace-whiteout-backspace-whiteout-backspace-whiteout-i-e-c-e? That would get annoying.

DEB: I don’t think they actually work that way, Jackster. Plus it’s a pain to get ribbons for those.

ME: They sell those, too. Also, they have a non-electric model that has “immunity to crashes and viruses.”

DEB: Betcha it’s gluten-free, too!


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