Conversation with My Wife (66)
They’re baaaa-aaack… and waiting in the mailbox
Halloween is over and the catalogs are showing up every day in the mail. Lots of catalogs. Sometimes we buy stuff we see. Usually from Amazon, of course, except for some of the small businesses where we buy direct, because they deserve a break, even if they’re also on Amazon.*
Meanwhile we find stuff to share.
DEB: This is for you: “If I’m on life support, try unplugging me and plugging me back in. Maybe that will work.”
ME: I’m on life support?
DEB: The IT thing.
ME: Oh! I knew that. “When life gives you lemons, I won’t tell you about my cousin’s friend. Who died of lemons.” Who does that remind us of?
DEB: Not my side of the family, thank you. “I want to be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. Whatever.” That could be me.
ME: Or Classical Sass, for that matter. As could this: “In my next life, I want to be the Karma Fairy.”
DEB: “Your secret is safe with me. I stopped listening 30 minutes ago.”
And Deb is into crochet. I try to help.
ME: Here’s something you could crochet, honey! A mermaid’s tail!
DEB: (looks at the page) Yeah, I’ve seen those as projects. They don’t look like fun. Probably why somebody is selling them in catalogs.
We are also looking for sculptures for our garden, which must be (1) beautiful timeless examples of nature, imbued in eternal materials that capture our love of the outdoors; (2) freakin’ cheap, because what if we don’t like it.
DEB: Why would you want an octopus holding a lamp next to your pool?
ME: Because… wait, what?
Looks at Deb’s catalog, which shows an octopus sculpture. Holding a lamp. Next to a pool.
ME: I have absolutely no idea. There’s maybe a large octopus fan club out there?
*And usually they aren’t eligible for Amazon Prime, in any case. Shush! Don’t judge.
We go through a lot of catalogs:
