Silly Sex Rituals

Episode 4 — Long Distance

Stephen M. Tomic
The Junction
5 min readMay 3, 2017

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Can’t find credit for this one. Found on the interwebs.

Dwayne Philips couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned in bed, one moment feeling too hot, the next too cold. His neck hurt and his feet were sore. Reprieve came when he received a phone call around midnight from Bunny, an old flame. The phone lit up on his nightstand. He’d long ago deleted Bunny’s number, and so answered with a guarded, but inquisitive “Hello?”

“Hey you, it’s me.”

“Oh hey,” Dwayne assumed a groggy tone.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t catch you sleeping, did I?”

Dwayne shifted the phone to the other ear and crawled out of bed. “Naw, don’t worry bout it.” He exited the bedroom and went out into the garage. He called it his pacing space, where he went to think. “What’s the good word, Bunny? It’s been how long now?”

“I dunno, few years maybe?”

“Sounds about right.” Dwayne went the mini-fridge and cracked a Natty Light. “Say, you watch Wrestlemania last night?”

“You bet’cher bottom dollar I did. Caught it at Lyle’s with Mike, Mike, and Mike.”

“Oh yeah? How are those guys doing? I haven’t seen them in forever. I feel so far out of the loop.”

“You know, same old, same old.”

Dwayne nodded and slammed down some suds. He eyed some bird shit on the headlight of his ’87 Vette and went over to his toolbox in search of a rag.

“I can’t believe the Undertaker retired,” Bunny said. “I thought he’d never go.”

“I can’t believe he lasted as long as he did. We were mere kittens back when he got his big break.”

Bunny’s voice downshifted to a slower, more sultry gear. “Did I ever tell you I had my first orgasm to him?”

“What?” Dwayne stopped pacing. “No. I’m afraid you failed to mention that.”

“It’s true. I had a big ole poster on my bedroom door, back when he wore that duster and wide-brimmed hat. God, it was so sexy I wanted to die.”

“Go on,” Dwayne said, thirsty for more.

“We musta been thirteen or so at the time. My sister had just gone off to college, so I had the bedroom to myself for the first time ever.” She paused. Dwayne let her silence fill his mind.

“I get wet just thinking back about it. Black leather, that mystical association with death, his eyes rolled back into his head. I touched myself once, just to know what it felt like.”

“Mmhmm,” Dwayne followed.

“It didn’t matter that I didn’t know the contours of my clit, or how to make myself cum more than once,” Bunny said. “That first time was so pungent, so powerful, I knew I wanted to try again.”

Dwayne checked the status below his bellybutton and found his staff at half-mast.

“Now you know about my first time, but what about you?”

“What about me?”

“Don’t get all topsy-turvy on me now. I never knew you to be shy.”

Dwayne sighed. “Fine.”

“Good.” It sounded to him like Bunny had just licked her lips.

“So, one night I was channel surfing. We just had basic cable. There was nothing good on, and then I stumbled across some scrambled porn.”

“Nice. Skinemax?”

“Ha, well, maybe. I don’t recall. It was mostly scrambled like I said, but I can distinctly remember seeing a pair of boobs. They…undulated, I guess, in a way I’d never seen before. I’d sneaked a Playboy or two, but never saw nothing so alive and in motion.”

“Mmhmm,” Bunny murmured.

“Nowadays any ole youngin’ can pop online and squeeze one off to any kind of perversions.”

“We didn’t have that kind of luxury back in the day.”

“No, but in a way I’m glad we didn’t. Something about making it harder to find made it all the more sweet.”

“That’s true, but you didn’t finish your story.”

Dwayne had hoped she’d let this part slide. “Uh, so I muted the tv and found myself rubbin’ myself, if you know what I mean.”

“Sure, I know that well enough,” Bunny said with an audible wink.

“This was back before I had a preferential hand, much less a method, and so it felt like some stranger was touching me — and I didn’t know how to feel, other than I knew I liked what I saw and I didn’t want to stop.”

“Go on,” she whispered.

“My dick was so hard it almost hurt. I blew my load all inside my underwear.”

“Did you taste it?”

“Naw, not that time. I didn’t even know what it was. It was warm and sticky and made a huge mess.”

“Ya know, I liked the way you taste.”

Dwayne couldn’t help but blush.

“You weren’t so bad yourself,” he countered.

A pause.

“We had some good times, didn’t we?” Bunny added. “I sometimes miss having you inside me.”

“Oh yeah,” Dwayne agreed. “Um, can you hold on a sec?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Dwayne went back inside and traipsed downstairs to the basement couch, covered with old blankets and dog hair. He pulled his boxers down to his knees. “So what would you do if you saw me again?”

“Oooh, I like where you’re going with this,” she said. “Are you hard?”

“Been stiff as a board the last ten minutes or so.”

“Thinking of me?”

Yeah, and that night we met up at that party after prom.”

“Oh yeah. I wanted you so bad for so long. You had no idea.”

“I remember you asked me to finger you on that couch.”

“That couch was gross, but I wanted — no, needed to feel you between my legs.”

Breathing, long and slow.

“You wanna know something?” she said.

“What’s that?”

“I’m touching myself right now.”

“Me too.”

“Good. So whaddayou say we finish each other off and then say goodnight? I gotta work in the morning.”

“Okay…”

“Put your tongue to my breast,” Bunny demanded with a touch of sass. “I want to feel your cock through the phone line, Dwayne. I want to hear you moan in pleasure as you come before you go back upstairs to your wife.”

Previous entries: 1, 2, 3.

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