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The Lazy News
The Lazy News is the home of weird jokes, bad art and horrendous journalism. In a world full of angry people, we're here for the giggles.
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Walking Streets Discriminate Against Lazy People
Walking Streets Discriminate Against Lazy People
For those suffering from Doing Impaired, walking streets are just the first battle in a much larger war.
Matt Pike
Aug 1, 2018
Fleshlight Working With Artificial Intelligence Software To Enhance User Experience
Fleshlight Working With Artificial Intelligence Software To Enhance User Experience
Have you ever wished that your artificial anus could engage you in meaningful conversation? Well, exciting news out from Fleshlight today…
Matt Pike
Jul 20, 2018
China Will Use Facial Recognition Technology to Remove Beautiful People From Factories
China Will Use Facial Recognition Technology to Remove Beautiful People From Factories
With its recent success in nabbing wanted criminals with facial recognition tech, China is now planning to use it to help beautiful people.
Matt Pike
Jul 3, 2018
As NAFTA Talks Falter, Trudeau Sends Nudes to Sway Trump Administration
As NAFTA Talks Falter, Trudeau Sends Nudes to Sway Trump Administration
Trump doesn't like Canada right now, but PM Justin Trudeau knows exactly what kind of diplomacy this problem needs.
Matt Pike
Jun 4, 2018
Murica Bank Announces New Cryptocurrency Backed by High Risk Loans
Murica Bank Announces New Cryptocurrency Backed by High Risk Loans
Murica Bank looks to revolutionize lending with their new cryptocurrency, DERP Coin.
Matt Pike
May 23, 2018
Research Says Woman Are More Emotionally Intelligent, Men Better at Pooping in a Crisis
Research Says Woman Are More Emotionally Intelligent, Men Better at Pooping in a Crisis
Come read about the latest groundbreaking research into emotional intelligence, and how we completely misinterpreted the findings.
Matt Pike
May 17, 2018
Sidney Crosby Reportedly Above The Law At Home in Nova Scotia
Sidney Crosby Reportedly Above The Law At Home in Nova Scotia
According to reports out of Nova Scotia, Sidney Crosby isn't dealing well with his team's early exit from the Stanley Cup Playoffs…
Matt Pike
May 14, 2018
Traffic Police in Vietnam to Accept Tears as Payment for Violations
Traffic Police in Vietnam to Accept Tears as Payment for Violations
Police in Vietnam claim this new policy will reduce traffic fatalities, but leaked memos obtained by The Lazy News show a different story.
Matt Pike
May 10, 2018
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