If a Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes
Why aren’t you truly giving it your all to make your dreams come true?
“Some dreams are more difficult to attain than others. I have wanted to be a Broadway producer for as long as I could remember and have truly given my all to make it happen.”
I was having one of those daily conversations with myself in front of the mirror, questioning my life choices.
This is when my reflection quipped back: “But how do you know that you have truly given it your all? What did you do? Let’s list out all of your efforts right now.”
I paused and started wondering why I always had to be so critical of myself this early in the morning. However, I did make that list and realized one powerful thing: very few of us truly comprehend what giving it our all truly means.
I dreamed a dream
Before we even get to the point of making something happen for ourselves, we start with an idea, a vision, a dream.
As ideal as this picture-perfect fantasy may seem, it tricks us in a very unexpected way: by allowing us to feel a lot of the happiness and excitement associated with the achievement, without having done anything but daydream for the last 45 minutes.
It’s even more dangerous for people with vivid imaginations.
You see, by putting the world around us on “mute” and drifting off to la la land, we envision what it feels like to have accomplished everything our hearts desire. Subsequently, we also get a stronger dopamine rush than if we were to, say, sit down and start putting in the work to make things happen.
I became a master at envisioning what my dream would look and feel like when it were to finally become a reality. All that it took was for me to play some show tunes while taking a walk around the block, and before I knew it, my mind was in New York, working on the next big musical hit.
It became an addiction, and my fantasy land often felt like a happier place than my reality. That is when I knew I needed to take action.
Anybody have a map?
Starting anything is hard. Not knowing which direction you’re going in when deciding how you want to start feels impossible. So you begin by taking baby steps, such as:
➰ Booking a trip to New York to watch all the Broadway shows you could possibly fit into your 4-day schedule.
➰ Watching videos online about what it takes to become a producer.
➰ Writing and directing your own musical, with the simple goal of creating an opportunity for yourself in which you can have first-hand experience producing it too.
The problem with these baby steps is that they often lead to a crossroads. It becomes clear that your options are often to take the safe yet predictable path or wander off into the road less traveled.
When I reached said crossroads at the start of university, I was debating whether or not to pursue musical theatre production as my field of study.
I now hold a bachelor of commerce with a major in accounting.
Slipping through my fingers
As time went by, I kept on reassuring myself that I could still achieve everything my heart desired even while following the safe trajectory of business school.
I was still regularly going to New York to watch shows, took lessons on both the artistic and production front of musical theatre, read countless books on how to become a producer, and started writing yet another show.
However, what I did more than anything else was daydream and talk about how I will go on to become a Broadway producer as soon as I graduate from university — to anyone willing to listen.
I believed that by sharing what my end goal was, someone would maybe have some useful advice that could help me finally get closer to my dream.
What I did not realize at the time was that by imagining the future and talking about it all the time, I was left with very little energy and desire to do anything to truly make it a reality.
It already felt real.
So the question remains: Did I truly give it my all?
To which I told the reflection in the mirror: Not even close.
Seize the day
What stopped me, and what is stopping so many people from achieving the ideals they fantasize about regularly?
Living in the fantasy is easier than working through the reality
Imagining how perfect it will be once it all comes true is simple. Going through all the steps to make it happen is a lot more grueling.
It allows us to feel short-term pleasure at the expense of long-term happiness, which is a very human trait. We do have the power to break out of this pattern, but there are a few other elements to consider first.
Being present and being proactive are not the same
Sure, maybe you decided to pursue your goals and are consistently sticking to them. However, simply showing up will not yield the same results as proactively working towards that end result.
Attending class is not the same as actively listening and participating. Existing next to your significant other is not the same as showing them just how much you love them every single day.
When you show up, you have a choice to make: will you make that time worthwhile, or will you simply be there to be able to tell yourself that you were present?
Knowing when to walk away is a skill
As we come closer to our objective, we might realize that it does not make us as happy as we had initially anticipated. Yet we sometimes stick it out, telling ourselves that we have already put in so much effort and cannot give up now.
Yes, the going can get tough, and we do need to stay strong in those moments. However, we also need to be able to recognize the difference between: “I have run into a rough patch” and “this is a path that is no longer making me happy”.
Staying strong for extended periods of time is not always the answer — knowing if and when to let go is.
The fear of failure is real
At times the fantasy can seem so picturesque that any action taken towards attaining it is blocked by fear. After all, whenever we take an action, we run the risk of it not yielding the results we desire, which threatens the whole existence of the fantasy.
It is in moments like these that I like to ask myself the question: What is scarier, taking action and failing, or not doing anything and wondering what would have happened had I attempted it?
That is enough to kick me into action most of the time.
…So is the fear of success
At the same time, attaining that fantasy frequently comes with many changes in lifestyle, which is no small feat either. That in itself can incite fear too, especially if you do not feel ready for those changes.
So the action gets postponed again, and again, and again. To which I say: ask yourself the same question as above. It is just as relevant.
Do not forget to readjust your expectations as you go
Throughout your journey down the road less traveled, you will realize that certain elements (if not all of them) will be vastly different from your initial fantasy.
Sometimes those differences are great enough to make you question whether this is still something that will make you happy.
It is important to assess these differences and adjust your expectations to match reality. If these differences are large enough, you may even want to start looking for a new path to explore.
Finale Ultimo
Knowing whether or not you have truly given it your all is tricky, but chasing after your happiness (as opposed to a predefined goal) is more straightforward.
At the end of the day, what we want to understand is why we are having certain fantasies and what tools are at our disposal to make them happen. Of course, being aware of the potential blockers that might stop you from taking action is a big help too.
I continued talking to myself in the mirror and spent some time thinking about where that desire to be a Broadway producer came from initially. What was the motivation behind it? What purpose was I chasing? Am I ready to truly give it my all?
I wanted to truly understand this in order to finally answer the question of why this path was one that I believed would make me happy for all those years.
In the spirit of not living out the fantasy prematurely, I will keep the motivation and purpose to myself — after all, that energy should be kept for taking action instead.
As for whether I’m ready to truly give it my all?
One thousand percent.
Thank you for reading.
PS: For my musical theatre fans, there is a little scavenger hunt in the text. Who can find the references to Cinderella, Les Miserables, Dear Evan Hansen, Mamma Mia!, Newsies, and Aladdin?
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