Still Lost on Purpose | 1 Year Later…

A year after my first post on Medium went viral, I’m still “Lost” and that’s on purpose.

Wisdom begins in wonder. — Socrates

Today is my 41st birthday. Last year, I wrote my first post, Lost on Purpose, here on my 40th birthday. It instantly went viral. To date it remains my most read post. Despite being a super long 24 minute read, it’s been seen by over 25,000 people and counting.

Each week, I continue to get people writing me, telling me about the impact that story has had for them. The response from that story inspired me and has led to many of the initiatives I am currently involved in. In particular, it was a major catalyst in launching 1heart Journeys with my best friend. With 1heart Journeys, we aim to help other leaders and entrepreneurs find more fulfilling and joy filled paths through transformational travel experiences.

While I’ve written other popular posts, nothing has touched the popularity of Lost on Purpose. I’ve learned it is hard to replicate the rawness of baring your soul for the first time. Lost on Purpose was a coming out of sorts for me. Prior to writing it, people knew me almost exclusively as a successful Type A startup entrepreneur who spent much of his adult life talking, walking and living fast in New York.

Writing Lost on Purpose allowed me to begin to speak about the man I felt I truly was. It allowed me to begin to communicate to those around me and to the world that I was on a spiritual journey. I was, and still am, actively exploring new modes of being that don’t look like the linear path that most I knew were on. To many, they might view my new path as being lost.

As a society, we’ve created generic templates that we can use to quickly measure someone’s life by. These templates allow us to make a quick judgement as to whether our life or someone else’s life is successful or not. It allows us to easily compare ourselves to others. It allows us to pick winners and losers. It allows us to define and value ourselves.

The problem is we rarely choose these templates willingly. Somewhere along the way one is chosen for us and we march along for decades trying to “succeed” by a definition we were never fully complicate in creating.

For me, it took nearly 40 years to wake up and really begin to question how I defined success. I had made millions, married a beautiful woman and lived in a beautiful apartment in New York City. But…

I looked around and failed to find the fulfillment I had hoped for.

I looked inward and couldn’t see the man I felt I was destined to become.

I was “Lost”. I knew that I had to throw away the template and rules I was playing by if I was going to find a new path.

I am still “Lost” and plan to remain that way.

I ended Lost on Purpose by stating:

I’m still here, in the exact place I am supposed to be. I am joyfully LOST in the vast greatness of the world, and plan to stay that way. I am at peace, connected to the source, with love in my heart. I surrender to all the beauty I am meant to discover and to the pain that will continue to teach me when I veer off my path. I now know my purpose and, for the first time, I understand success.

This past year has had so many beautiful moments. Some of my favorites include:

• Starting 1heart as a collective of conscious companies with my best friend.
• Birthing our first three companies under 1heart, Guided, Superwell and 1heart Journeys.
• Celebrating my parents 45th anniversary in Mexico with my family.
• Attending Love Burn (a regional Burning Man in Miami) and meeting my amazing and loving girlfriend Jeanette there.
• Hosting our first 1heart Journey in Costa Rica and witnessing 25 leaders transform their lives before our eyes.

It has also been one of the most challenging years of my life. There were tests at every corner and constantly I’ve had to remind myself of my commitments and intentions. Despite trying to flush the Type A out of me, I managed to take on more than I ever have. I struggle daily to maintain the balance I seek in all areas of my life.

When we awaken, we feel everything much more intensely, the good and the bad. We are no longer numb, we are no longer pretending. We see what’s at stake and know what’s possible.

I’ve learned a lot that has helped me navigate this new awareness. On my birthday this year I wanted to share the main lessons from a year of articles I’ve posted. Each of these are things that I’m constantly working on. I am writing them here, as much a reminder for myself, as advice to anyone reading it.

Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you sit down quietly, may alight upon you. — Nathaniel Hawthorne

1 | Be the Source — Looking back over the past year and forty years of life, I can clearly see how the results I’ve achieved directly map to where I’ve allocated my energy and attention. My life has been a direct reflection of my intentions and desires.

On a daily basis, it’s easy to feel powerless and a victim of our circumstances. When you take a broader perspective, the truth becomes far more clear. We are all the author of our own lives. I find myself constantly reminding myself of this daily whenever I find myself feeling overwhelmed and a slave to my circumstances. — Lost on Purpose, August 1st, 2017

2 |Surrender to Life, Don’t Conquer it — As a “recovering Type A” this is something I constantly get to remind myself of. I write about surrender often as I truly believe it to be essential to living a fulfilled life. We must trust and let go in order to allow the Universe to show us all we are meant to experience.

For most, our nature is to try to control all areas of our lives. We spend most of our lives trying to get our lives to meet our expectations and goals vs. being present to all that currently is. Living in surrender is the only way to truly live in the present and the present is the only place where fulfillment (or anything) actually occurs. — Why Being a Type A is a Surefire Way to Lose at Life, Aug 15, 2017

3 | Fear is Unfortunately Our Most Dominant Emotion — You don’t have to look far to see how powerful a role fear has in our lives. The media and our President use it constantly in an attempt to control us. I made the decision to stay in Miami during the hurricane this past year. I choose not to be ruled by fear. My intuition told me that I would be safe staying put and I trusted that.

Despite my increased awareness and intuition, I continually find fear attempting to motivate my decisions. The opposite of fear is love and when I shift the fears I feel to creating more love in the world, it naturally shifts. Most of the separation and sadness we feel is a result of our fears. Only by shifting our fears can we truly be free and connect to ourselves and others. — No, I didn’t Evacuate, I wrote This Instead, Sep 11, 2017

4 | Commit to Growth — I’ve always been spiritually curious. Learning about personal growth and spirituality have continually peaked my curiosity. I read a lot, studied Kabbalah for five years and dabbled in various other modalities. But, growth doesn’t happen in our minds. It isn’t something we learn academically.

Growth happens when we commit to it. Earlier this year I got my first tattoo. It is of a spiritual symbol (The Divine Mind). I had a necklace with the same symbol on it and was wearing it during an ayahuasca ceremony. I suddenly saw it appear tattooed on my arm. I knew at that moment that I would my first tattoo. It perfectly represented the balance of mind and heart that I sought. By committing permanently to this symbol, I now have a constant reminder of the growth I seek. — Why Getting a Tattoo at 40 Years Old Was a Good Idea, Dec 18, 2017

5 | What You Put Out Amplifies — The concept of karma is fairly well known. What often is not realized is that karma is not one to one. Doing one good thing does not trigger one good thing to happen. Our actions are multiplied many times over. Just think about your boss giving you a big compliment at work. That may cause you to compliment your Starbucks barista and maybe buy your wife flowers. Each of their days are then brightened and they pay it forward as well.

I’ve been fortunate to have the opportunity to impact a lot of people over the past year. I’ve also continued to see increased synchronicity everywhere I turn. These are not unrelated events. Rather, when we put out good energy and focus on giving, the Universe attempts to repay us several times over. — Lessons That Ayahuasca Will Teach You That Harvard Business School Never Will, Jan 4, 2018.

6 | You Don’t Know Shit — I learn and relearn this one the hard way nearly every day. And the more I learn, the more I ultimately realize how little I know. Still, I attempt to scheme, analyze and plan so many areas of my life as if I know what’s best for me.

The Universe has other ideas. My divorce which officially finalized this year is a good reminder of that. I spent nearly 25 years of adulthood trying to find the perfect partner that checked all the boxes. Despite such a deliberate approach, I found myself single once again. Control is an illusion. We aren’t supposed to know the result of every move we make all of the time. If we did, what would be the point of even playing the game? — The 7 Spiritual Laws of Divorce, Mar 9, 2018.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. — Confucius

It’s hard to attempt to sum up all the lessons I lived this year. The past year feels like a lifetime of its own. In just the past 365 days I’ve made friends who are among my very best friends in life. I’ve met an amazing woman who I’m honored to call my girlfriend. And, I’ve started several companies with people I truly love and respect.

There have been so many moments this year where I felt extreme gratitude. At so many moments I’ve felt like I was flying, truly living life at the highest level. At so many moments I felt happier than I’ve ever been.

Despite all of this, this year has also contained so many difficult challenges. I’ve felt completely overwhelmed, unable to depend on a clear linear plan. Even though these plans are ultimately illusions, they provided a day to day comfort and clarity that I no longer have.

I’ve had to consistently remember to surrender and trust that life will manifest in far better ways than I can even imagine. I’ve had to continually remember that my mind doesn’t have the answers and that the fear it concocts is not real. I’ve learned to trust my intuition, my heart and ultimately myself more.

It’s been quite a year and I’m proud to still be as Lost as ever. Only by being lost can we truly search and explore. There are many moments I’ve begged for a sherpa, map, or a tiny flashlight. Even in the darkest days, we have all that we need, we are walking the path we are meant to, we just need to keep on going. We are always exactly where we are supposed to be.

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Read more about my personal journey from successful startup founder to joyfully Lost on Purpose.

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