Scared Money Don’t Make No Money; Volume 5
February 24th & 25th
Last volume’s bets… You better have wrote my name next to yours on the Valentine’s Day card you gave to your girl since I helped you afford the gift.
✔️ Tottenham at -1/2 over Arsenal. Covered.
✔️ Dortmund at -1 1/2 over Hamburg. Covered.
✔️ Monaco as a pick em over Angers. Covered.
❌ Nice as a pick em over Dijon. Up 2–1 with 12 minutes to go. Lost 2–3. Balotelli will never stop disappointing me.
✔️ Sevilla at -1/2 over Girona. Covered.
I’ll take my 3% commission on all winnings. CashApp or Venmo are both welcomed.
Time to punch the time clock.
Manchester United at home to Chelsea ends in a draw (+220). The two most boring managers in football go head to head. Their comments to the press in regards to the other offer more attacking threat then this match will give us. You are far better off going to the farmers’ market and trying to find a good avocado (FYI, there is no such thing) then you are spending your morning watching this match. Expect no more than 4 shots on target combined.
Theatre of Draws.
Sunday, 9:05 AM EST
Monaco at -1/2 (-120) away to Toulouse. Even with their leading goal scorer Falcao still out; Monaco have had no trouble putting the ball in the back of the net. In their last four matches, they’ve scored a total of 13 goals while only conceding two and securing three points in all of them along the way. Whether it be Jovetic playing as a target man or Keita playing as a false 9, the goals are there. Sending thoughts and prayers to Lafont.
Saturday, 11:00 AM EST
Lazio at -1/2 (-120) away to Sassuolo. Lazio lost a talent in Keita overthe summer and don’t look any worse, which is shocking. From Ciro to Hero, Immobile has become a top goal scorer since joining Lazio before last season. He should fare well against a Sassuolo side that concdede an average of 1.7 goals per game.
Sunday, 9:00 AM EST
Roma at -1/2 (-115) home to AC Milan. Italian Everton stink. Roma stink too, just slightly less. Alisson will continue to show out in hopes of making his childhood dream of playing for Liverpool come true. Suso scores. It’s the last week of February and Andre Silva still doesn’t have a league goal. Why do you all continue to lie about Portuguese youth that aren’t named Goncalo Guedes? Suso scores early but Roma still win 3–1.
Sunday, 2:45 PM EST
Atletico as a Pick Em (-150) away to Sevilla. Atletico should have a bone to pick Sevilla. Sevilla recently knocked Atletico out of the Copa del Rey after winning both legs with a 5–2 aggregate. Atletico haven’t lost since that defeat in the second leg. Look for the best team in Madrid to win after a Costa and Griezmann masterclass.
Unrelated but I hope El Nino doesn’t go to China. Come play in the MLS and enjoy retirement.
Sunday, 2:45 PM EST
Marseille at +2 (-135) away to PSG. Even though Scams is totally wrong for listing Marseille in his weekly power rankings, I think they’ll manage to cover this bet. Florian Thauvin is playing like French Salah and it is a fucking joy to watch. It’s being reported that Neymar won’t play due to a case of the bubble guts which means he just misses his sister. Marseille won’t win but they won’t lose by anything more than a goal.
Sunday, 3:00 PM EST
GET MONEY, GET PAID.
Visit Bovada to see updated lines.
*The author of this article is not responsible for your decisions. Don’t tell your wife, your kids, Sallie Mae or anyone else to come for me because I didn’t make you do shit.*
