3 Steps To Pick Yourself Back Up Again
A simple, quick, and unconventional guide to healing
Self-love is tricky for those who grew up believing they don’t deserve it. And when life’s beaten you to the ground and your depression has taken hold of you again, it can become even more difficult to be kind to yourself.
We all know that meditation, journaling, eating right, exercising — that all of these acts of self-care are undeniably helpful to feel better. But when you’re low, and I mean really low, how are you expected to drag yourself out of bed to go for a run, when you can barely get out of bed to go brush your teeth?
How are you going to have the patience to sit through 10 minutes of meditation when your mind is racing at a million miles per minute and you’re almost certain that your heart will leap out of your chest?
Sometimes, it’s too much to handle. And that’s okay. That’s perfectly okay.
It took me a long time to learn that you don’t need to push yourself so hard all the time; it’s just as important to take things slow and find the healing method that works for you.
For example, when I feel overwhelmed I rely on three simple steps to pick myself back up again. The great part about each of these steps is that they incorporate the same aspects of meditation, exercise, and journaling without actually having to do any of those things. Let me explain:
First, I Take a Warm Shower
I find that when I’m in a bad place, I just can’t stop overthinking. Some people may resort to meditation and mindfulness to counteract the anxiety and focus more on the present. But when my mind is in overdrive, sitting down in one position with little to no background noise is quite possibly my worst nightmare. There is no controlling where my mind could run off to.
Fortunately, the effects of meditation and mindfulness do not always have to be achieved in the same setting. I realized a few years ago that I’m most able to stay in the present moment when I’m in the shower. There, I am consumed by the sounds and sensations of water pouring down my body, so much so that my other thoughts drift to the sidelines, as though being washed away by the water.
Then I Talk about my Problems out loud to Myself in Front of a Mirror
I know it sounds crazy, but trust me, it helps. It’s a well-known fact that voicing your problems to another person, or journaling down your thoughts, has a positive impact on your health and immune system. But I’ve had issues with both activities in the past.
At times I’ve found it difficult to trust another person because I was irrationally certain that no one could possibly understand. Other times I would try to write, but as soon as my hands touched a keyboard or lay pen to paper, I froze.
Yet putting our feelings into words, a process known as “affect labeling” is necessary to heal. This is because the amygdala, the part of our brain that controls our fight/flight response, will override more logical thought processes when overwhelmed. However, when thoughts are articulated clearly, when you put your feelings into words, it becomes so much easier to process them.
So when I’m not ready to open up to someone else, and can’t seem to get myself to write, I talk out loud. I become my own best friend.
Finally, I Dance Terribly in my Room to old Taylor Swift Songs.
It doesn’t have to be Taylor Swift (but you should give her new album a listen #SwiftieForLife). I play all of my favorite songs from when I was 13 years old. I sing along and I dance, though I use the term “dance” very loosely. I just move my body — twirl! When was the last time you twirled? Let loose. I find comfort in the fact that no one is around to judge me, and that I can release endorphins from a simple at-home karaoke session instead of a treadmill.
Usually, once I’ve engaged in all three steps, I feel better. I suddenly have the energy to cook myself a meal — and microwaveable counts! I might even have the will to make my bed.
Sometimes, the energy lasts until I’m ready to fully immerse myself into life again. Sometimes, it doesn’t. I listen to my body and work accordingly because no bout of depression or anxiety is ever the same as the last.
All of that being said, picking yourself back up again is no easy feat. I have fallen in love with myself before, but fallen out even more. Yet over the years I have learned that it’s often the smallest steps that make the biggest differences, especially when it comes to self-love. So go on, turn on the shower, have a good old chat with someone (even yourself), and dance it all out.
Do you have any tips and tricks that you use to pick yourself back up again?
