Day 1: Chronicle of a Helicopter Daughter Caring for Her Mom at 95
Her mother said, “Stop hovering. You are NOT my mother! Get out of here and go back to playing poker.”
When you’re a senior caregiver, it can be exhausting, frustrating, and oh, so scary. Thankfully, humor often comes into play and lightens my load.
When mom told me to stop hovering and that I was not her mother, I went back to playing poker in 2019 and was delighted.
I had been off the felt — away from the poker tables — for several years after mom had fallen, broken two ribs, and had a concussion.
With mother’s declaration, she branded me The Helicopter Daughter. Taking her advice, I experienced notable success in poker before the pandemic hit.
In a later post, I’ll talk about poker. For now, let me give a bit of background about my mom, and then leave you with a chuckle.
About Mama Peggy
My mother, Mama Peggy, honored us by coming and sharing our home in Florida 2002. My desire was for mom and me to get to know each other as adults and become true friends BEFORE it became necessary for mother to require care. Or, vice versa.
I made a deal with mom: The only way she would go into a nursing home was when I was her roommate.
Over the last six months, mom has been my bedmate in our king size to make sure she is stable getting to the toilet during the night.
She had fractured an outside bone in her left leg, and then ended up in the hospital when her skin turned yellow. They are unrelated issues but her balance and strength have suffered on both accounts.
My mother is not your normal person in the 90s, and whenever a new doctor comes into play, I start off with this introduction:
“My mother at 95 is a star athlete, who has gotten older.
She is hard of hearing, which you might take as her inability to understand. She does understand when you speak directly WITH her, slowly and clearly.”
Then, I ask the doctor, “Do. You. Understand. Me?”
Mom loves to play in the dirt.
She has turned our acre into her farm. Her philosophy is “to stay above the grass, you have to get your butt up.”
Returning from a business trip, I discovered mom had hired a man with a tiller to plow up the driveway to our third gate.
She looked at me when I fumed and smiled, “We never use that gateway. So why reserve it for, well… nothing?”
My life is blessed with longevity and a clever mind.
Last week, mom jumped up from the kitchen table, grabbed her rolling walker and rushed toward the bathroom. I followed after her and asked what was going on.
Mom said, “I can’t make it,” and as mom says, she soiled her pants.
While I was cleaning up mom on the toilet, she looked up with a twinkle in her eye and a grin on her face and summed up senior caregiving in one word, “Payback.”
Mama Peggy’s Facebook timeline where I started sharing videos of mom for our family to see. Over time, she developed a loving community of all ages that kept wanting more of her wisdom. They continue to hold Mama in prayer. Thank you in advance for adding Mama Peggy to yours.
My Facebook timeline. If you wish to become my friend there, please message me after you send a friend request and tell me how you found. Thanks for that.
For a 4-minute audio of my signature MindShift Exercise™, go here.
Dr Donna Blevins, a poker mindset coach, who received the Recognition Award from the U.S. Dept. of Veterans Affairs. Donna teaches online worldwide from her home on the Gulf Coast of Florida, and is available to speak in person.
