The Power Of Saying No
Are you a people pleaser? So was I.
Younger as what you would call a people pleaser. It was very hard for me to say no as I was scared to upset the person in front of me. I would accept to do favors, invitations, even dates not to be the outcast one. For me saying no could result in an argument or a conflict that scared me to death. I didn’t want to be unliked or have any drama.
Even with my family, it was hard to say no to parents at times for certain things. The thing with being unable to say no is that it’s DRAINING. Everybody else is happy except YOU.
You end up being in an uncomfortable situation that you would rather avoid or you’re being left with spending time with people you don’t enjoy the company or having to do something you don’t really want to do.
The bottom line is, after all this exhaustion. I started to say NO, not to things but to people and my life changed, for the better… for me.
Don’t get me wrong, it was hard at the beginning and when people aren’t used to you saying no, there can be some confusion in your entourage. Some insist or I could get into a bit of conflict with a good friend, but I was decided not to let anyone force me into something I didn’t want to do.
To my biggest surprise, I didn’t lose any friends or family members; they are still here, very present in my life. I lost a couple of people only to realize that they weren’t in my life for good reasons anyway. That is when I realized the importance of boundaries. Saying no to people was my way of setting up my own boundaries for them to respect and for me to be free.
If they dared to cross it or not respect my answer, a conflict would happen but I wasn’t scared anymore, I stand my grown. Now, that I recently graduated and got a job, I am in the learning process of saying no to things at work.
I am coming across a lot of new things, not that it is my first job but I think we don’t tend to know who we want to become, we just try our hardest to not end up like the one we despise.
Another thing that I am starting to learn is to YES to things. So, NO to people but YES to things. The difference is all there but the liberation is the same.
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Have a great day.
