You’re Only As Strong as Your Ability To Surrender
Counter-intuition at its best: three real-world examples to give you faith in the paradox.
I recently caught that title phrase by way of a movie preview.
Deep, right?
I laughed when it turned out to be for vacation rentals, but still I appreciate this simple reframe of a concept I’ve been trying to describe for years.
It all comes down to this: the great truth of our human existence is that nothing is really in control.
And there’s actually nothing to be lost in relaxing about it.
Conversely, there’s not much to be gained in grasping for it, except maybe tension, frustration, migraines, stress, illness, cancer, and other maladies.
Though it sounds paradoxical at first — and probably slightly maddening — you’ll realize you’ve witnessed the power of this in many, many places.
Here are three lenses to look through:
1. Travel
The best nugget of wisdom given to me before my first trip abroad went like this:
“Embrace ambiguity.”
And it’s done a world of service for me.
When it comes to travel plans, regardless of their level of grandeur, something will inevitably and invariably go wrong. Count on it.
This might be your luggage getting lost somewhere between Seoul and Bangkok.
Or it could be a poor judgment & worse translation that gets you in hot water (or thrown out).
Or it could be an old cab driver who thinks you’re cute & that it’s cute to keep picking up other fares and teasing you to have a “cool heart” while refusing to take you anywhere near the part of town you asked to go and forcing you to miss the class you were supposed to teach.
Yes that was a weird day.
But the irony there is that the supremely-irksome-dodgy-codger was actually right about one thing: there is strength to be had in keeping a “cool heart.”
(“Jai yen yen,” for anyone interested in a little Thai.)
Your ability to roll with the punches is what ushers in solutions.
Freaking out? Not getting ya anywhere.
→ Not getting your luggage back.
→ Not soothing an uncomfortable situation.
→ Definitely not helping you make a plan or watch for your next opening.
2. Yoga
No matter what class, style, or teacher you find, in Yoga the practice always ends with a pose called savasana (literally in English: “corpse pose”).
This is generally deemed the single most important pose.
It allows the body’s systems…
(heart rate, blood pressure, hormones, temperature, muscle memory)
… to neutralize & incorporate all the benefits of the practice.
This effect is magnified by one’s ability to match the stillness of the mind with the newly found stillness in the body.
At that resting point — now with more physical awareness — any areas of lingering muscle tension are consciously found & released.
With each release, a deeper & deeper trust comes in allowing the body’s weight to be held by the earth beneath.
In achieving complete surrender, the benefits to the body & mind are monumental, and the strength gained is an impossible thing to describe.
3. Bamboo (& Oak)
A tenet in certain schools of martial art goes: “be like bamboo.”
Bamboo has the stupefying ability to bend into a full U-shape under the accumulation of ice & snow.
It patiently remains there, steady under the weight. Even in the cold.
Once all the cold stuff finally melts & falls off, the bamboo springs right back up, tall as it ever was.
Compare that, now, to the great oak tree, legendarily dense, solid, & sturdy.
When a mass of snow comes, or a massive wind blows, the branches snap & break.
Sometimes the entire tree comes down.
Surrender is flexible.
Rigidity is fragile.
“But How Much Is Too Much?” You Ask…
A dear friend of mine used to love to say:
“The only thing that goes with the flow is a dead fish.”
While this is cute (and honestly pretty funny), there is an in-between here:
Of course you can’t just fluff your pillows,
sit back,
put your feet up,
and say:
→ “Alright! Come at me, world! I’m set to groooove…” ←
… Aaand then expect your dreams and needs to manifest.
You must take action and risks to create outcome.
But by releasing attachment to the outcome, you gain enormous strength in your ability to move forward & adapt.
Because let’s face it — rarely do things turn out the way we expect them to.
And that’s a good thing.
What a horribly monotonous existence this would be if everything happened just as planned.
No surprises.
No plot twists.
No adventure.
No challenge.
No lessons.
No wisdom.
Can’t imagine we’d bother to live very long in a world like that.
Have you ever found strength in choosing to surrender? Please share & surrender the details!
Enjoyed ya’self while reading this one? I have a readily surrendering Tip Jar that loves to hear your thoughts, too.
Thank you for reading!
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