Dear Charity Pest,
It’s not that I hate the idea of charity — I hate the way you use sales tactics on unsuspecting people who are just walking in the city to reach a quota of “do-gooders.”
You’re like a walking fountain of clickbait. “Do you know how many people are starving in the world?” you cry to a pedestrian who has earphones in and is blatantly trying to ignore you. “Do you want to help homeless, drug-addled children, and also the environment and puppies at the same time?” you ask — making the people who refuse you feel like garbage, just because they don’t want to help on your high-pressure, commission-based terms.
It’s fantastic you want to do some good in this world. That you try to engage strangers on important issues, to crowdsource a solution, to have a stab at making things better for the less fortunate.
But I’ll let you in on a little secret — don’t be a pest. Earn the respect of someone without getting a hold of their wallet first, drop the sales tactics, and stop hounding people that clearly don’t want to fucking talk to you.
You’re giving everyone the shits and you know it.
Regards,
I’mnotlisteningIcan’thearyoublahblahblahblah Q
Matt Querzoli was inspired to write this for obvious reasons. Follow him or his randy publication if you liked the post, or even the bloke himself if this tickled your proverbial pickle.
