Giving and receiving
Lynn writes about the second veil of Love (Week 3)
Amidst the whirlwind of events this week — awaiting grandpa’s passing, tending to our needy baby, assisting grandma in selling and purchasing a new home, online meditations I’d hoped to join — and alongside the usual household chores, we failed to carve out time for ourselves and our journey toward intimacy.
Last Saturday, during our son’s afternoon nap, I seized the opportunity to grab Tom, and we made our way to the bedroom, eager to explore the deeper mysteries of veil 2: touching all over the body, excluding the genitals, while keeping all clothing on.
As I tenderly touched him over his jeans, his socks, his face, his t-shirt, and his hair, I experimented with various types of touch. Warm, lingering caresses, deeper massages, playful tickles on his ears and neck, teasing strokes along the inside of his legs… During the flurry of activity, I felt a warmth in my belly, a turn-on ignited by giving, playing, experimenting, and observing his reactions. I could sense the sexual energy pulsating within me.
Later that evening, it was my turn to receive. Whether it was the weight of a long day, the looming possibility of our son waking and disrupting the moment, or the sushi resting in my stomach… Despite the romantic ambiance, with tantra music and soft lighting, I couldn’t relax and receive. It was pleasant but lacked sensuality and sexuality. My mind wandered everywhere but the present moment.
We discovered that lying on my back might leave me feeling vulnerable, so I shifted onto my side, which felt better. Lying on my belly allowed me to escape my mind and sink into my body, to relax, albeit only to that extent.
Now, myriad questions flood my mind, and I find myself caught up in my thoughts. Why is receiving so much harder than giving? I adore being touched, receiving massages, being pampered, relishing in relaxation… At least, I think I do…
Is giving about maintaining control and anticipating what comes next? Are we seriously already encountering obstacles only at the second veil? Why do I struggle to receive, to let go?
Giving and receiving embody control (having a sense of what’s to come, even if not meticulously planned) and surrendering completely…
Surrendering to the unknown, within the safety of our relationship and the boundaries of the veils, is proving unexpectedly challenging for me. It’s a bit of a stumbling block in our playful exploration of the seven veils, yet also an invitation to communicate about it and delve deeper.
This blog post is part of a series on our journey through the “Seven Veils of Love.”
Make sure to read Tom’s writings on the same period here: First kisses, love, and inevitable death | by Conscio-us | Mar, 2024 | Medium
After the birth of our son, we embarked on a six-month exploration to rediscover our intimate life, utilizing the Taoist practice of the seven veils.
We both write uncensored, sharing our male and female perspectives on the same journey. We hope you enjoy reading and find inspiration in our experiences.
This article is written by Tom and talks about how we are experiencing the Second Veil.
Lynn and Tom
