The Board Meeting
11/
There was just one problem with my evil plot to fix capitalism and solve all of the world’s financial problems in order to pay you all back for the adverse selection I’ve been putting to our healthcare system.
Programming languages and new theories of money are boring. If I go live with a programming language or a new theory of money who cares? I will get like 10 retweets in the best possible case.
“I need more,” I thought, expanding a little farther.
Then I had a worthy thought. If I owe everything to capitalism, then I should give everything to capitalism. Give it all back. Give it all back and go forward with a clean slate.
And suddenly, my two things were not alone. There was a third thing I would have to add to my collection of assets in the cause of #fixingcapitalism. It was the map. The path I walked to get here.
It was the story of my life.
My most important memories appeared, all at once, arranged along a jagged, winding path. They were all in front of me like my old basketball card collection, or like the screens full of stock charts I used to look at, or like the racks of books and magazines at Barnes & Noble. Symbols, text, and images with dollar values attached.
I decided right then that even though they were the memories of my life, I didn’t need to own them anymore. Those memories were the old me. I was ready to be new again. So I decided to sell my memories to the Robocube Corporation in exchange for new equity issues.
“That’s the only way to make them understand. The only way to show them how serious we are about #fixingcapitalism so that it works for everybody. So that we can ALL GET RICH TOGETHER! And I mean ALL OF US!” I insist, raising my hands for emphasis.
The President, the Secretary, and the Treasurer approved the new issues instantly and unanimously.
I smiled. I could see the shiny new shares on my balance sheet. They were as real as you and me. I was suddenly wealthier. I immediately went to work thinking of ways to use the memories as ammunition in the coming marketing war.
With that decision made, and the board meeting over, I felt calm, and I began to sink, as if I was resting on a bed of clouds that gave way slowly, preventing me from falling too fast. I felt myself sinking through layer after layer of clouds, fog, static, and lightning.
Only one thing was constant throughout my descent. It was the glowing, luminescent geometry of the Robocube logo. As I continued falling through one layer after another, the worlds became darker, and the imagery became simpler, and sparser.
Until I finally arrived in complete darkness.
