THE SUMMIT | MOTIVATION | WEEKLY PROMPT
My Equation for Becoming My Best Self
My key ingredients for being in alignment with my true self
“If you plan on being anything less than you’re capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.”
— Abraham Maslow
Sometimes I find myself wondering if knowing any kind of success formula would have allowed me to take a shortcut in life instead of all the detours and the delays I have experienced. But then I realized that if it wasn’t for all these ups and downs I would have probably not learned all the lessons I learned and haven't had all the opportunities to grow and become the person I am today.
Over the past few years, I have realized that the most important thing is the way I show up in the world. How I show up every day for myself and others.
Thus, I quit trying to find a success formula, and instead I took a closer look at what the past years have thought me and what I found works best for me in order to align myself with the best version of me there is.
Without further ado, here’s my equation to becoming my best:
The Best Version of Me = Purpose x Courage x Priming x Core beliefs x Self-discipline & Hard Work x Welcoming opportunities
1. Purpose
Finding my purpose has not been an easy task. And not because deep down I didn’t know what it was but because of all the fears and doubts that started crippling in. Finding my calling and following that path has proved to be truly rewarding. It brings me a deep sense of fulfillment knowing that I am giving something back to others.
You can find your purpose by following your curiosity. And following what brings you a sense of fulfillment and excitement.
What makes you feel alive in this same instant? What brings a twinkle in your eye and a smile to your face?
2. Addressing my fear of failure
Stepping into one’s purpose comes along with a lot of joy and fulfillment but also with self-doubt and fear of failure.
Fear of failure is a mental and emotional awareness that success may not be possible. Too much fear of failure can hinder success and accomplishment, while too little fear of failure may not motivate you enough. Fear comes right after stepping out of your comfort zone. It is absolutely normal and it shows you that you have stepped into the next chapter of your life.
Finding the right amount of fear dosage is extremely important. You need enough just to make you kick it off but not too much to stop you from achieving your dreams.
Is fear of failure stopping you from venturing out of your comfort zone and starting something new?
3. Core beliefs
As soon as I embark on a new path, limiting beliefs are starting to rise up. Things I thought I have health with in the past or perhaps others I wasn’t even aware of until then. That’s one of the best things I like about wanting to become your best self: you are on a continuous journey of self-discovery.
Working on my core beliefs has been a real game-changer. As children, we have been conditioned to adopt certain beliefs about ourselves according to what our parents, teachers, or caregivers have been telling us.
Working on those beliefs and seeing whether they still serve you or not is very important. Also, choose the people you surround yourself with wisely. If you have any naysayers around you that are killing your dreams, perhaps it is time you reevaluate these connections.
Are your core beliefs serving you at this point in time or are they holding you back? Are people around you supporting your dreams?
4. Priming myself for success
You have probably heard of the Pygmalion effect, or the Rosenthal effect is a phenomenon in which other people’s expectations about someone changes their behavior and performance.
In the 1960s, a Harvard psychologist named Robert Rosenthal conducted a study to determine whether teacher expectations would influence a student’s performance in the classroom:
Rosenthal told teachers that certain students in the classroom were expected to be high achievers based on a specialized Harvard test that they took.
Please bear in mind that these high achieving students were chosen completely at random, and were not smarter, or more talented than other students.
The result? Well, these “high achieving” students actually had much better academic performance than their peers! All because of expectations.
For instance, ever since I was 4 years old, I have been told I am good at English by my mother and a few other people. Or that I am well-tailored for psychology by one of my psychology teachers in high school. Thus it wasn’t difficult for me to believe I can do a great job somehow using both English and psychology since the ones telling me these things were authoritative figures in my life I highly revered.
P.S. Fast forward many years later, I am a Psychologist working with people from both my country and abroad, thus also using English on a daily basis. :)
But my life doesn’t only resume itself to English and psychology and working on my limiting beliefs in other areas made me realize I can do and be so much more than I have ever imagined!
If there is no one else to prime you, you can definitely set great expectations about yourself. Being your biggest cheerleader is amazing!
Which areas of your life are you interested in developing but you are not giving yourself permission to?
5. Working on my perfectionist side
“Don’t strive for perfection, but strive to do the best you can. And then do more. Even if you strive to do 1% better every day, you will be 100% better in just over 3 months.” — Vanessa Van Edwards
As a recovering perfectionist, I am still sometimes catching myself being my worst inner critic and spending way too much time on a task only to feel extremely drained and disappointed at the end that no one will actually allow or appreciate all the time and energy I invested in it.
So, when I catch myself doing so, I slow down, take a break from whatever it is I was working on, and then come back at it with a fresh pair of eyes. I work in chunks instead of overwhelming myself with so much at once and I remind myself that I am doing the best I can with what I have, being more gentle with myself.
Is your perfectionist side preventing you from starting or finishing up something that could take you in the direction of your dreams?
6. Hard work in a smart way
First of all, I stop making excuses. And by that, I mean fraudulent excuses. Such as blaming the weather for my lack of self-discipline. So, instead of becoming defensive and start blaming exterior events, I take responsibility for the things that were in my control and try to find the best possible solutions for next time.
Also, I have been working on the concept of self-discipline. And I don’t mean just starting a new project kind of discipline. Certain routines such as meditation, yoga, and self-care rituals are non-negotiable. I see myself as my own best friend and not showing up for my yoga session, for instance, it’s like breaking a promise to a friend. I wouldn’t want that to happen with an actual friend so why would I do that to myself?
What excuses are you making that are keeping you from going after your dreams and doing the actual work? How is your self-discipline on a scale of 1–10 (1 being the lowest)?
7. Being on the lookout for opportunities
After working on establishing my purpose and my mindset and putting in the hard work, it is time to look for opportunities. It is time to allow the Universe to present me with the people and opportunities that are the best fit for me at this time.
It is important to be open to the things coming toward us and let go of rigid expectations such as how things should go or when or where they should happen. Of course, if something doesn’t resonate, by no means we should take it just for the sake of it. It is important to discern and take only what resonates.
For me personally, it’s much more fun to see what the Universe has prepared for me after having done my part.
Are you flexible in regards of how things should unfold for you? What opportunities are you allowing to pass you by because they do not conform to your predetermined idea of what ‘it’ should look like?
Final thoughts
You will have bad days, you will make mistakes, and you will encounter setbacks.
Some days the pursuit of aligning yourself with your Best Self will seem very far away and you will feel like quitting, self-sabotaging, and going back to the old mindset which wants to keep you safe. And that’s ok. It’s normal, part of the human experience.
Allow yourself to have those kinds of days as well.
Just remember: you are meant to live your best life and become your best version of yourself.
Do your part and then allow the Universe to surprise you with the most wonderful opportunities and people!
I would love to know what your equation for becoming your best version is!
This article is in response to this week’s motivation prompt by Sahil Patel at The Summit: What is your equation for becoming your best version? What are the things you want to achieve to make yourself better? In nutshell, write a story describing what your best version looks like?.
If you feel inspired, please do join the wonderfully supportive community here at The Summit!
If you liked this article, you might also enjoy reading my other articles on similar topics:
Much love! ❤️
