The Best Decisions I’ve Made To Live My Life Fully as an Introvert (By a Past Extrovert)
You think you can’t change your nature?
I love that picture above because it makes so much sense.
I see myself in these two characters.
For a long time, I felt like an extrovert. I lived my life noisily, and my emotions were literally written all over my face. I could go from laughter to tears in a matter of seconds.
People thought I was happy and fulfilled when, in fact, I was the complete opposite.
I felt so alone and torn.
It was inexplicable.
A result that speaks for me
Ten years ago, I went back to business school to study for a Master 2.
The teacher had given us the MBTI® personality test:
16 MBTI personality types
Definition from the official website: The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI®) Level I is based on Carl Jung’s theory of psychological types, and enables you to identify your natural psychological preference from among the two possible on each of the four dimensions:
- Where do we get our energy from: Extraversion (E) or Introversion (I)
- How we perceive things: Sensation (S) or Intuition (N)
- How we make decisions : Thinking (T) or Feeling (F)
- How we approach the world: Judgment (J) or Perception (P)The four letters that make up your personality type help you to better understand yourself and your interactions with others.
To the Myers-Briggs Company website
I still remember my result; I was Red:
Extraversion (E) — Sensation (S) — Feeling (F) — Judgment (J)
Yet this result didn’t resonate with my other personality.
Have you ever had the feeling of acting completely opposite to who you really are?
I functioned the way people wanted me to function
I’ll give you some examples.
1) If I stay in my corner and don’t talk, it means I’m sulking.
But I’m not. I need to be alone to recharge my batteries because I’ve spent a lot of energy, and the only way I can do it is to isolate myself.
2) If I answer a question calmly and thoughtfully, people are surprised.
The people around me are so used to seeing me clown around that bringing up a thoughtful answer gets on their nerves.
3) If I don’t want to go to a party, it means there’s something wrong with me.
In reality, I’m not avoiding anyone, it’s just that going out all night is exhausting.
4) If I don’t want to speak in public, it means I haven’t worked hard enough on my subject, or I don’t want to cooperate.
Whereas No, I’m not always comfortable in public. In fact, I’ve always been stressed about speaking in front of an audience.
Often my vision narrows to the point where I can’t see anyone. If I listen to myself speak, it stresses me out, I judge myself and I’m very uncomfortable.
5) If I don’t want to lead a project, it’s because I don’t want to take responsibility.
I’m ambitious, and I like having responsibilities, but I don’t always want to be in the spotlight and take charge of situations. Why do I always take the lead? Because I’m never satisfied with the involvement of others. I prefer to reap the fruits of my labor.
In fact, I found myself caught in my own trap. Because I functioned as an extrovert, the people around me thought I was.
And they expected me to behave like one.
I was the uncomfortable duckling:
And then, one day, I changed completely.
After all, as an extrovert, I have the right to do things that amaze my world!
I changed completely. Everything.
1) I left my partner of the time and all the judgment that was resting on my shoulders.
In this article, I share with you the social pressure I encountered while I was quitting drinking. The pressure was so unhealthy… :
2) I changed my professional status and became a freelancer.
This is one of my first Medium articles. I tell you all about my journey to becoming a freelancer. And I can tell you that it was no mean feat. But this change has allowed me to blossom:
3) I consulted mental health professionals.
I took charge of my life and went for help. The result was my neurodivergent autistic diagnosis. I felt both astonished by the result and relieved to understand that I wasn’t functioning in reverse:
4) I take the time to nourish my inner self.
I’ve made the decision to take charge of my future and my career. So I train to be the best in my field.
Remember this illustration?
Well, the introvert who’s filled up inside is me now.
I’m a product owner in design systems and I’m constantly training myself to live up to my own expectations. Not other people’s expectations, but my own.
I’ve just published two long articles to help professionals like me understand the subject:
I’m also a mobile applications professional. And I talk about them in these articles:
In fact, I have plenty of other technical articles, tips, and feedback to share.
Because I’ve found a field that I like and that nourishes me.
A final word
Not so long ago, I was this little grey duck, an introvert among extroverts.
For years, I lived like an extrovert. Everyone said I was at ease, comfortable, and talkative.
But inside, I was totally stifled.
I told you about what others expected of me. Because I’d got used to behaving that way.
And then, one day, I radically changed everything.
My personal and professional life were transformed.
I’ve shared with you a piece of my life that I look back on with compassion. I feel a little sorry for the person I used to be, and I wish I’d acted sooner.
But c’est la vie.
I hope this sharing will give you a different perception of your daily life. If it resonates with you, then I bring you all my energy and kindness to continue on your path.
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