Are your unrealistic expectations ruining your dating life?
Today I want to talk to you about “future tripping” when it comes to relationships. Have you heard that expression, “Future tripping?”
I’ve worked in a couple of drug and alcohol treatment programs over the years and it’s easy when you’re making a huge life change to “trip about the future.”
One way I see so many of my clients “trip” is around dating and relationships.
Today’s topic: Are you living in the future when it comes to love?
I wrote about the past and how if we don’t understand our history we are doomed to repeat it. This week is about the future and how living in the future can also hurt you but just in a very different way.
There is two kinds of ways we think about the future. We either create elaborate fantasies in our minds and create expectations that are completely unrealistic or we fret and worry about what could or could not happen.
Neither of these scenarios are serving you so what do you do instead?
Action Step: Practice being “here and now”
My mother used to say to me when I was in my 20s, “Be here now.” Ugh…I knew she was right…but ugh…who wants that!? Well, like many mothers, she knew what she was talking about because when I would “be here now” it would force me to stop looking into the future to find all the answers but to enjoy the present moment.
If you’re guilty of fantasizing about future dates or if you tend to create unrealistic expectations of your friends and family and then get angry and upset when people don’t live up to your imagination, then it’s time to learn how to be in the present moment.
It’s OK to have dreams and fantasies but they can’t be your measuring stick for every interaction of your life.
The next time you catch yourself dreaming about the future or creating a scenario in your head about a date or a family gathering or a night out with a friend….STOP.
Tell yourself to stop and create a mantra like, “I’m open to all possibilities.” or “What the future brings is exactly what I need.” or “I only have the present moment so I’m going to live here now.”
As always, let me know what you think and how learning to be “here and now” is going for you and your personal life.
