I Am Not Sexually Attracted to My Husband
But I do desire him
Did you know that sexual attraction and sexual desire are not the same thing? I didn’t until just recently. All my life, I thought when people talked about sexual attraction, they were talking about sexual desire. I thought they were exaggerating or using a metaphor when they talked about being sexually attracted to someone they didn’t know and had never touched.
sexual attraction and sexual desire are not the same thing
When I met my now-husband Mark, I thought he was good-looking. Not movie star handsome or anything ridiculous, but his eyes were beautiful and his face was pleasant. I’ve always been more attracted to eyes than anything else, as they really do reflect the goodness (or not) within. He looked good — like a good person.
I dated two men before my now-husband. Both of them were quite far from traditionally handsome. I dated the first one for months, and, though we never did anything beyond holding hands and kissing, I did sometimes — rarely — feel a flutter of something like sexual desire when we kissed. I was attracted to his attraction to me. I was flattered. The second one didn’t get a second date. I only went on the one date because our families were friends and, again, I was flattered by his attraction to me…
