10 Sites Like FetLife — Try These Similar Alternatives

Bondsge
TheDungeon
Published in
9 min readNov 21, 2023

FetLife is a social media platform with a twist, it’s for people interested in BDSM, kinks, and fetishes.

Launched in 2008, FetLife is essentially Facebook for kinksters, with over 10 million active users from across the world. Like other social media sites, members can upload photos and videos and chat with other users to develop their own network of friends.

FetLife users also plan and host various fetish and kink events, including play parties, classes, and casual meetups. It’s one of the best websites for anyone interested in exploring the exciting world of BDSM, kinks, and fetishes.

However, FetLife isn’t the only website that’s great for finding like-minded kinksters. There are lots of other fetish and kink sites like FetLife, each one offering something unique and interesting for those pursuing a naughtier lifestyle.

Let’s take a closer look at 10 of the best sites like FetLife:

1 . BDSMDatingonly.com

BDSMdatingonly.com is one of the best FetLife alternatives to emerge in recent years.

While a relatively newer fetish dating site, BDSM Dating Only is packed with awesome features and a solid user base, making it a worthwhile option for anyone looking to explore BDSM dating culture.

When creating a profile, you’re asked to enter information about your various kinks and fetishes, with dozens of options available. For example, you can include your preferred kink role, such as being dominant or submissive, while you can also list all your favorite fetishes, including bondage, role playing, findom, etc.

Once you create a profile, you can upload photos, videos, write blogs, and chat with other members using typical messaging features. You can also fill out a detailed Q&A section on your profile, giving users the chance to view your kink preferences and experiences within the subculture.

If you’re looking for sites like FetLife that are affordable to join, BDSM Dating Only is a great place to start. You can create a membership free of charge to get a feel for the web site, while paid membership tiers are very reasonably priced.

2. Reddit.com/r/bdsm/

If you’re looking for a site like FetLife that doesn’t require any paid memberships or complex sign-up processes, then the Reddit.com/r/bdsm/ is worth consideration.

r/BDSM is a thriving online community of kinksters, with close to a million active members on the forum. There are dozens of daily threads that cover all aspects of BDSM, from personal experiences to guides to kinky pictures and videos of users.

Reddit is free to join and only takes a few minutes to create a profile. Your profile can remain completely anonymous, while you can also upload photos, write posts, and chat with other members of the BDSM subreddit.

Like many subreddits, members of r/BDSM are incredibly welcoming of people of all genders, orientations, and sexual preferences. Whether you want to ask questions or engage in some kinky chat with other fans of BDSM, this subreddit is certainly worth a visit.

Plus, you don’t even need to create a profile to view any of the posts on Reddit. While there may be some age-restricted content, you can certainly check out plenty of BDSM posts without needing to sign up for Reddit.

However, as it’s basically a forum, you’re not guaranteed to find a dominatrix or someone to enjoy online fetish play, unlike with a dating site. But it’s still an excellent resource for learning more about BDSM — or just checking out some hot pics and videos!

3. Collarspace

Collarspace is a popular site like FetLife that was first launched over two decades ago. Looking at the design of the site, the layout hasn’t changed much in over 20 years!

However, don’t let Collarspace’s old-school design put you off; it’s one of the strongest BDSM communities online.

This alternative site functions like BDSM personals, with users posting personalized ads about what they’re seeking. Each profile has a detailed breakdown of the user’s personal kinks, fetishes, and whether they’re sub/dom/switch.

Once you make a profile, you’ll find various recommendations on the homepage for other users based on your preferences. Plus, you can use filters to help narrow your search, filtering by things like location, age, gender, weight, fetishes, etc.

With more than 1 million active users, you’ll find a dominatrix nearby interested in almost any kink or fetish you can imagine. Users are very open about their fetishes, and you can learn more about members by checking out the journal section of their profile.

You can also view kinky videos of other members, visit chat rooms, and browse forums, all completely free of charge!

4. TheCage

The Cage is a small but thriving online community covering all things BDSM.

While it only has around 100,000 members, most of the people using the site are highly active, resulting in plenty of engagement between users.

The Cage, an online forum, is packed with various chat rooms and discussions across the various BDSM subcultures. It has a simple but intuitive layout that is easy to navigate, with countless threads, blogs, and podcasts covering all types of kink and fetish topics. Definitely one of the best Fetlife alternatives.

The Cage is free to use; simply sign up and create a profile to start browsing and interacting on the forums.

Users on the site are friendly and welcoming, so it’s a great resource for learning more about kinks, fetishes, and other aspects of BDSM culture online. There are also topics that are non-BDSM, giving you the chance to connect with people outside of the typical kink and fetish chat.

Beyond the forums and guides, there are personal sections where people are looking for meetups, online play, and other kinky fun.

5. AshleyMadison

Perhaps one of the best-known sites like FetLife, Ashley Madison is a popular dating site for people looking to start an affair. That said, many of the users are just single people looking for casual fun, including BDSM kinks and fetishes.

Ashley Madison has a unique setup where only male members need to pay. So, if you’re a single (or taken!) woman looking for free FetLife alternatives, you won’t need to pay to use Ashely Madison.

The payment system for Ashely Madison is also unique. Rather than paying for a flat membership, you simply purchase credits, which are used to unlock various features, such as messaging other members.

Members are typically very open-minded, as the site openly encourages affairs, so it’s easy enough to search for people with unique kinks and fetishes. This also makes it easier to approach members about your own fetishes, as most people on the site are looking for kinky fun rather than romance.

Another key feature of this FetLife alternative is the massive emphasis on privacy. Users are completely anonymous, allowing you to pursue some BDSM dating fun without worrying about your identity being revealed.

Given that many people prefer to keep their kinks and fetishes private, Ashely Madison’s privacy features are a huge selling point.

6. AdultFriendFinder

Adult Friend Finder is unquestionably one of the best sites like FetLife.

Founded in 1996, Adult Friend Finder was the first dating website focusing on casual hook-ups, and kinky fun. For over two decades, the site has attracted millions of people looking to explore their sexuality, from one-night stands to threesomes to BDSM.

In fact, there are multiple chat rooms dedicated entirely to BDSM and its various subcultures, which you can access with a free membership. This is a great place to explore your kinks and fetishes, as the users are very friendly, open, and experienced in all aspects of BDSM.

There are also guides, blogs, and other community-created content that are useful for people new to BDSM. You’ll also find the chat rooms are a great way to connect with kinksters; you may find yourself a match while using the chat rooms!

Whether you’re experienced or new to BDSM, Adult Friend Finder is a must-try. This FetLife alternative has comprehensive search features, letting you easily filter your searches based on your unique fetishes.

7. Fetster

If you’re looking for sites that FetLife is 100% free to use, then look no further than Fetster.

Fetster is more of a fetish online community than a paid dating site. Memberships are completely free, and you can easily explore the various chat groups and blogs, while you can also add friends, like on social media.

The site also has a strong no-tolerance policy when it comes to fake profiles. Profiles that are inactive are quickly deleted, ensuring that all members are genuine and interested in BDSM. You won’t find any fake profiles, time-wasters, or scammers on this website!

When signing up, you’re asked various questions about yourself, including any kinks and fetishes. It’s highly recommended that you take the time to create a detailed profile, as it showcases that you’re trustworthy and plan to be active on the site.

Plus, the more detailed you are with your profile, the easier it is for other members to find you on the site, increasing your chances of finding someone for some fetish fun.

Like other social media platforms, you can upload photos, create a detailed profile, and chat with other people using the website. Make sure to check out chat rooms and blogs; they’re a great place to meet someone!

8. Fetish

Fetish is a dating website focusing on kinks, fetishes, and BDSM subcultures.

Featuring an innovative website packed with cool features, Fetish is a great Fetlife alternative to find kinky people online. There are a lot of good features available with a free membership, including browsing profiles, limited messaging, joining chat rooms, and advanced search options to find profiles.

Paid memberships include premium and VIP options, each unlocking a wider selection of features on the site. For example, a VIP membership, which is the highest tier, lets you view photos and videos, send and receive unlimited messages.

Pricing is reasonable for each tier, while you can save money by committing to a longer subscription, such as an annual membership. There’s plenty of nice features available for free, which is a great way to get an idea of Fetish and whether it’s worth paying for a membership.

Fetish also offers a good range of resources for people new to the world of BDSM. For instance, the BDSM Training School provides a safe place to learn more about BDSM from verified instructors.

There’s also erotica, personal guides, and forums, so it’s a great site for people who want to explore kinks and fetishes for the first time.

9. Feeld

Feeld is one of the newest dating apps featured on this list and has quickly become a must-have for anyone embracing their kinks and fetishes.

The app already has over a million downloads, just a few years after its launch in 2014. Originally an app focusing on swingers, Feeld has now embraced all aspects of sexuality, including kinks, casual dating, polyamory, and much more.

Like many modern dating apps, such as Tinder and Bumble, Feeld uses location-based matching to pair users who want to meetup for casual fun. So, if you’re looking for a hot date with an added kink element, Feeld is worth checking out.

Again, it shares similarities with Tinder and Bumble, where you create a profile and start matching with people based on your preferences and location. You swipe right or left to accept or reject a pairing, and you can start chatting if you both swipe the right way.

Profiles are quite detailed, letting you list your sexual orientation, kinks, and fetishes, while most people post high-quality photos. Users are incredibly open-minded on the app, clearly stating what they’re after, whether it’s hookups, threesomes, or kink play.

10. KinkD

KinkD is another newer dating app like Fetlife, first launching in 2017, and has quickly become a popular choice for those living a fetish-loving lifestyle.

It follows a similar format to dating apps like Tinder, pairing users based on their profile and location, then swiping right or left to accept or reject pairings. When both users accept, you can start messaging each other to see if there is a connection.

KinkD is basically a Tinder clone for people who want to pursue BDSM, kink, and fetish fantasies.

Users create a profile, upload some photos, and list their kinks and fetishes. There are some nice privacy and verification features in play too, including private photos and a photo verification process.

These measures help to avoid time wasters and fake profiles, leaving a strong user base of active members looking for kinky fun online.

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