Looking for A Kink Community? 10 BDSM Forums You Should Know

Bondsge
TheDungeon
Published in
8 min readNov 28, 2023

Are you having trouble finding a partner interested in kink activities? Fortunately, you can turn to several online BDSM communities and forums to meet suitable intimate partners willing to engage in BDSM activities.

Online kink communities allow people worldwide to come together and discuss their common interests in BDSM. Some of the communities even have dating site features where you can arrange a meetup with a willing partner to socialize and potentially engage in BDSM activities.

Do you want to locate the biggest kink community online? Here are the 10 popular BDSM forums for you to explore. You are bound to find at least one ideal community to accommodate your desires.

#1 BDSMDatingOnly.com

Many users and critics believe BDSMDatingOnly is the number one kinky dating website in the world. It is a BDSM community with the most singles and couples looking for BDSM-based relationships and encounters. Whether you are merely curious or have specific fetishes or kinks, you will undoubtedly find singles and couples with similar fetishes and kinks as yours in this community.

BDSMDatingOnly has a massive database of active members who can record and stream live videos for other members. Although creating a profile on the website is free, there are two paid membership options for members who want access to additional features and content.

For example, the Gold and Silver paid memberships offer unlimited access and communication with all the other members of the community. Not only will your profile appear at the top of the searches, but you can access the groups, blogs, magazine, and video recording features. A free membership doesn’t allow you to contact or view the profiles of other paid members.

Overall, BDSMDatingOnly provides everything you would want from a kink community. You can share amateur recorded videos, receive gifts, find local dominatrix, stream live webcam videos, and more. The low-cost paid memberships are worth the price.

#2 FetLife .com

Do you want submissive or dominant sexual partners with exciting fetishes? FetLife is a popular BDSM community filled with numerous users who have dozens of different fetishes. With nearly 11 million users and about 80 million photos and videos posted, the odds are that you will be able to meet BDSM partners who share similar fetishes and sexual desires as yours.

FetLife is set up like a social media network where you can join the forum and communicate with other members for free. So, feel free to explore the thousands of groups and virtual workshops in the community to meet new BDSM partners and enthusiasts.

The motto of the community is “By Kinksters, For Kinksters.” If you have unusual sexual preferences that go beyond the scope of traditional sexual behavior, you will find a suitable home at FetLife. It is a beautifully diverse community that respects its members’ privacy while providing opportunities to discover each other.

FetLife has a large number of international users if you want to look outside your own country for new kink relationships. Some people have even found their future spouses on FetLife, so who knows what kind of connections you will make in the community.

#3 Thecage.co

Thecage.co is a kink-positive, friendly social media-style forum for kink lovers! When you first visit the website’s homepage, you will see highlights of several of the community’s features, such as the forum, magazine, blogs, personals, and events. These highlights will give you a taste of the kinds of content and connections the community can offer you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re an amateur or experienced practitioner of a BDSM lifestyle because Thecage.co is very welcoming and user-friendly to people of all experience levels in BDSM. Thecage.co is perfect for making new connections with people and learning about their kink lifestyles for educational purposes.

You can trust the professionalism and integrity of Thecage.co platform and its staff. The community has been around for a long time and sees increases in its traffic every year. The user interface and design make the community feel more like a social media network than a dating website. So, if that is what you’re looking for, sign up today. Thecage.co is free to join and use.

#4 Fetster.com

You may think the Fetster website design looks pretty basic the first time you visit the site. But, sometimes, a hidden gem is buried inside a basic-looking website like Fetster. After all, don’t Google and Craigslist have basic website designs too?

Fetster is a free BDSM community with many useful features you may not notice at first. But once you start looking around the website, you will see it has BDSM group discussions, events, videos, forums, blogs, and more. It doesn’t have real-time video chatting or instant messaging, but it has everything you could want in a kink community.

Please spend some time filling out the details of your Fetster profile because it will help connect you to the right people who share your sexual interests and desires. You can also view their detailed profiles to find new desirable partners. There won’t be too many ads getting in your way while you do these things.

People with all kinds of fetishes have already joined the website. It should not take you long to find a suitable BDSM partner with a shared interest in unique kinks, bondage, adult toys, domination, submissiveness, and more.

#5 CollarSpace

CollarSpace is a tremendous online hangout spot for younger adults interested in kinky sex and BDSM lifestyles. Since 2007, the community has gained over 1.6 million members from across the globe. It is a trusted BDSM online hangout spot with a simple user interface and many helpful features.

One of the most notable things about CollarSpace is its friendliness to the LGBTQ+ community. Anyone interested in finding BDSM partners of the same sex may have some luck searching for them on CollarSpace. All you have to do is go to the “Search For” section on the homepage and change the sexuality option of your search to Gay, Lesbian, or Pan. Of course, if you are a straight man or woman, choose the “Hetero” option.

The full range of features offered on CollarSpace includes chat, forms, mobile-friendly user interfaces, advanced search filters, journals, toys, and other helpful resources. Unfortunately, there is no free membership option to contact other members. You must pay for a silver or gold membership to enjoy this feature. However, since it is one of the largest BDSM forums on the internet, it may be worth paying for the service if it means meeting a suitable partner.

#6 Fetish.com

Are you ready to discover the beauty of fetish dating? Fetish is a BDSM community centered around fetish dating opportunities for members. It is a free dating website designed for people with at least one or more fetishes. You will have free unlimited communication and access to fetish searches, chats, forums, messaging, image sharing, newsfeeds, and more.

Fetish has unique features and benefits not offered on other fetish websites and BDSM communities. For example, it has an exclusive “FET App,” which provides its members easy access to all the same features as the regular website. The app is available for Google Android or Apple iOS mobile devices, giving you the power in the palm of your hand to communicate with other Fetish members.

Don’t forget to check out the new BDSM Personality Test on the Fetish website. It is a fascinating test that helps you figure out your specific BDSM personality by asking you dozens of questions about your sexual interests and desires. The test results will make it easier for you to find a partner with similar BDSM personality traits.

#7 Reddit BDSM

Reddit probably needs no introduction to you. It is a global network of multiple communities and forums of people with various hobbies, interests, passions, and desires. You are bound to find some group of people on Reddit that shares your interests, including your unique kinks and BDSM pleasures.

r/BDSMcommunity is the name of the Reddit community dedicated to BDSM. Although it only has a few hundred Reddit members signed up, you will continuously see plenty of daily posts, comments, and questions submitted. All community members are anonymous, so you don’t have to worry about exposing your true identity to anyone.

r/BDSMcommunity is not a dating website for meeting new partners. It is strictly an online community for BDSM enthusiasts and kinksters to talk, ask questions, share articles, and learn. Perhaps that is a good thing for people who want to remain discreet because it gives them more willingness to engage in deep discussions about BDSM with others.

#8 FetSide

FetSide is another BDSM community and dating website combined, where members have diverse fetishes and sexual desires. All you need to do is come to the website with a sex-positive mindset, and you will discover kinky partners with similar interests in no time.

Creating a profile and engaging in unlimited private messaging on FetSide is free. However, to pin your profile to the top of the FetSide user feed for others to discover quickly, you must upgrade to a premium membership for the low starting price of $3. FetSide members can privately live chat through instant messenger, send virtual gifts, invite users to chat, rate other user profiles, upload videos & photos, and more.

You get complete control over your profile and personal page settings. Think of FetSide as a place to fully express yourself like you never could anywhere else. Thanks to the website’s rating system, it won’t take you long to find a realistic match with similar BDSM interests and kinks as you.

#9 Disboard BDSM

Have you ever heard of the free communications platform “Disboard?” It is a popular online platform that hosts Discord servers for various topics, including music, gaming, language, movies, anime, and community. If you didn’t know, Discord is a free communications app where members can share text messages, video calls, voice calls, files, and other media content. It is also a great place to meet new friends with similar interests.

Disboard BDSM exists under the community category. All Discord servers with the “BDSM” tag are technically part of the BDSM community on Disboard. Currently, there are just under 4000 Discord servers tagged to the BDSM community, so you have endless opportunities to find friends and make new connections with other BDSM lovers and kinksters.

#10 BDSMLibrary .com

Do you enjoy reading kink stories or participating in BDSM social events and chat rooms? If so, the BDSM Library is the best place to visit for many reasons.

Founded in 2001, the BDSM Library is one of the oldest online communities dedicated to everything BDSM. The library has BDSM sex stories, movie & picture galleries, adult chat rooms, Q&As, parties, social events, live fetish webcams, kinky video clips on demand, and so much more.

You can tell the website is from 2001 because the BDSM Library web pages have an old-school web design similar to Craigslist. It has numerous text-based navigation bars, lists, and links to various social features. The simplicity of the design makes the website suitable for all BDSM enthusiasts, including those who may not be technologically savvy.

Some Tips for Newcomers

Is this your first time engaging with a kink community forum? Please remember the following tips to ensure your experience remains safe and pleasurable:

Give yourself time to explore each community to get a feel for them. If you have never done BDSM activities before, start small until you get more experience with them. Do not overextend yourself by doing too much too quickly.

Educate yourself on the risks associated with various activities, such as bondage, sadomasochism, discipline, dominance, and submission. Risk awareness will help you set your mind right before engaging in any related BDSM activities.

Establish rules and agreements with your partner before performing any BDSM activities. You and your partner should discuss what is acceptable and unacceptable to ensure the experience is enjoyable for both of you.

Start with a free membership to a kink community to ensure it is right for you. Then, if you like its features and wish to expand your access to them, you can upgrade to a paid membership.

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