Magic: The Gathering
Magical Thinking: Ixalan
Welcome back to Magical Thinking, a look back at the cards and art of Magic: the Gathering, set by set, from the beginning, all through the eyes of a casual fan. This week we set our sights on a land of high adventure, ancient civilizations, treasure, dinosaurs, pirates, and very VERY on-the-nose commentary on colonialism: September 2017’s Ixalan.
Ixalan is a new plane filled with wild jungles, a fabled city of gold, a Sun empire which tames dinosaurs, river dwelling merfolk, vampire conquistadors, and pirates. And in the midst of all of this we have two familiar faces: Jace Beleren, who has lost his memories after the events of Hour of Devastation, and everyone’s favorite gorgon Vraska, who has come looking for him. Will they reunite? And what is the secret of Ixalan’s greatest treasure, the Immortal Sun?
Hey, did I lie? I said there would be dinosaurs and here they are. This set debuts dinosaurs in Magic proper. There have been dinosaurs here and there before, but here they take front and center, as they should because dinosaurs are awesome.
We also get a look at a new keyword: Enrage does something when the creature in question takes damage. Enrage is only a 6 on the Storm Scale, but largely, it only appeared in this set.
Here are one of the major factions in Ixalan, the Dusk Legion, who are vampire conquistadors. The next time someone tells you that politics don’t belong in gaming, remind them that WotC made a Magic: the Gathering set which literally framed colonialists as vampires.
Another faction in Ixalan is the Sun Empire, a stand-in for the Aztec, an empire with sun magic and dinosaurs, which is awesome. Here we have another new keyword: Explore lets you chart out a course to explore your deck. Either you find new land or your creature grows stronger from the experience. It’s a 5 on the Storm Scale.
Like I mentioned, the Sun Empire love them some dinosaurs, so if you have dinosaurs they’re gonna have a good time. Because who doesn’t love dinosaurs?
Yeah, you may recall that Jace kind of had a bad time in Amonkhet. In fact Bolas basically scrubbed his entire hard drive, so now he’s stuck on a strange plane with no memory and no planeswalking. Seems like he’s in for a bad time.
Ixalan also featured more transforming cards, although in this case they were not creature cards that transformed, but things that turned into lands. From here we go from the vampires landing…
To them establishing a fort. I hope a brontosaurus steps on it, colonizing assholes.
Like this one. Bring him over to step on the vampire fort, please.
Just cracking a warm one with the boys. Also, I think this is the first time since maybe Sorin we’ve seen White mana vampires. Just goes to show you can slot a creature into almost any color with proper justification.
I really hope this is the aftermath of that dinosaur stepping on the vampire fort.
Not much to say except those are some really cool daggers she’s got. I like her outfit too. In fact, I just like this entire card.
This is like the opposite of the comet that wiped out the dinosaurs. They wipe out everything except the dinosaurs.
Now here’s a blast from the past. A blast of air that is. It’s the air elemental, which has been in the game since like Alpha. Nice to see they’re still getting play after all these years.
We don’t just have dinosaurs and vampires, we also have pirates in this set. It’s like they decided to just cram as many awesome things as they could think of into Ixalan.
And its not just humans who can be pirates. We can have siren pirates as well. Makes you wonder who else can become a pirate.
Well, looks like Jace is doing alright considering how he looked when we last saw him.
As I promised, we also have merfolk in this setting. These are the River Heralds, who protect the waterways of Ixalan and try and keep the golden city hidden from all, even themselves.
I have to give it up for Opt, probably my favorite Blue card and in my mind the quintessential Blue card. Always great to see it.
Okay, so maybe Jace isn’t doing so well on his own. And of course this is the last storyline card, so we have to wait till the next set to see if he survives (spoilers, he does). Also, I think this is where Jace and Vraska become a couple.
I think I see where you messed up, Vraska. You thought it was a good idea to trust Bolas.
So not only do we have a stand in for El Dorado, we also have a stand in for Atlantis. Is there an ancient mythical land Ixalan doesn’t have a stand in for?
OH SHIT WATCH OUT, WE HAVE TRILOBITES. They’re gonna mess you up, son. I love how it’s 2017, Magic has been around for almost 25 years at this point, and we’re still getting creatures like trilobites. Who summons a trilobite to a wizard duel?
Hey, it’s Raid. You probably remember this as the ability from Khans of Tarkir associated with the Mardu. Well considering that timeline no longer exists thanks to Sarkhan’s insatiable dragon thirst (yep, still bitter about that), the Brazen Coalition (Our pirate faction) is laying claim to it. I mean they’re pirates, of course they’re gonna steal a mechanic.
Yeah, bloodcrazed and Paladin are two things that don’t make a thing I think. Also, I just noticed the dead merfolk in the background.
Because even though you’re a magical gorgon assassin who turns people to stone, doesn’t mean you can’t occasionally just punch open a box.
A pirate acting underhanded and despicable? You don’t say. I was recently playing in a DnD game based on treasure island, and this is giving some flashbacks.
What’s better than pirates? Orc pirates. Magic definitely needs more orcs. They should add some whenever they have a chance.
Speaking of iconic one mana cards, we have Duress, which is up there with Opt as one of those iconic cards I hope they never stop reprinting.
Yeah, bet you never thought you would see a Chupacabra on a Magic: the Gathering card. I’m really warming up to this setting.
And despite that they’re literally no better in a fight than a grizzly bear. I don’t know who comes off looking better or worse in this match up.
Everyone’s gotta a price, and everyone’s gonna pay. Have I made that joke before? So sue me. It’s been like seventy five of these articles so far.
Anyway, here we have the introduction of treasure tokens, which are artifacts which are basically disposable mana rocks. And they do other stuff too, like letting you win the game with this card, because according to the Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules. It’s literally the “Screw the rules, I have money” card.
This is why you ask before eating that last pudding cup, bro.
Remember to always be polite to a gorgon. Otherwise they may ask you to look them in the eye when you speak to them.
Of course, it wouldn’t be a pirate themed set without a walk-the-plank card. I also like that it doesn’t work on merfolk, because why would it? They’d just swim away. Of course now I have this weird mental image of them forcing a dinosaur to walk the plank and it’s oddly hilarious.
You know, I could say something, but I can’t really compete with a name like Lannery Storm. Lannery Storm, you are officially the best Storm related thing in Magic (Storm knows what it did, that’s why they call it the Storm Scale).
Heh, that’s some good flavor text. Hey, someone get a shovel, Billy got in the way of the ceratops.
Gotta love those random encounter tables when you are dungeon crawling. Why don’t you try drinking that thing’s blood, you ticks with features?
Nice of them to give the entire backstory of one of the new planeswalkers right there on one card. Like, his name is Angrath, he’s a minotaur, and he’s trapped on Ixalan. What more do you need to know?
Of course Ixalan has goblins, and those goblins resemble monkeys, and they have cannons that shoot lightning bolts. There is nothing about this card I don’t love.
The best part of any DnD session: dividing up the loot.
Wait, I thought that the ice age killed the dinosaurs. MR FREEZE LIED TO ME!
Of course, if anything killed the dinosaurs it was probably Homelands.
Can I just also say I’m glad WOTC went with the feathered dinosaurs for this. Glad they waited until that was confirmed before going forward with this.
Jurassic Park theme intensifies.
Weird that a Mesoamerican themed setting would have creatures from Greek mythology, but I guess they are thematic at least.
Man, Audrey II has lost some weight. That Paleo diet really worked out for them.
…Yes I’m terrible, feel free to pelt me with tangerines now.
We also have Green merfolk, who are land dwelling as opposed to the Blue water dwelling merfolk. They feel more like fishy elves at this point.
Green magic, proven to help dinosaurs grow strong in twelve ways. Also, it’s really sweet to see them helping that dino get big and strong like that.
Wow, Ixalan has some big frogs.
I really love that green armor she has on. Goes very well with the purple.
And here we have the queen of the pirates herself. I wonder if she’s gonna leave all of her treasure in One Piece as well.
The Sun Empire’s resident planeswalker, who loves her some dinosaurs it seems. She keeps good company as far as I’m concerned.
…I sure hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me.
Of course we also need some vehicles in this set, since it’s all about sailing, and in this case we get them crewed as well. In this case we get the vampire conquistadors’ intensely creepy ship. Because when you are a vampire you have to be extra in just about everything.
And of course we have our magical MacGuffin right here, the thing Bolas made to lead to…
Orazca, the city of gold. Because of course the El Dorado stand-in is gonna be the thing everyone is looking for.
So what’s in Orazca? Will Jace regain his memories? Will our heroes reunite with the Gatewatch? Tune in next week when we continue our look at Ixalan with Rivals of Ixalan. Until then, Stay Magical.
