Self-Care
Thich Nhat Hanh was a great Zen teacher who wrote beautifully about how learning to love others begins with loving ourselves. But what does it mean to love oneself? Part of the answer involves self-care.
‘Self-care’ is a term tossed about so much on social media today that it seems like a trending subject. But the term has been around for decades and appears to be having a renaissance thanks to our high-stress society.
In today’s hectic world, stress can harm your health, relationships, and career performance if you don’t consistently care for your mental, emotional, and physical state.
While the causes of stress differ from person to person, the effects are typically the same. These can include upset stomach, fatigue, insomnia, lack of motivation, muscle tension, irritability, social withdrawal, and substance abuse.
Long-term effects can also come into play — including cardiovascular disease, obesity, and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.
Self-care is an approach to living that incorporates behaviors that refresh you, revitalize your motivation, and help you grow as a person. Self-care helps you replenish your energy reserves when you’re running on empty.
It’s important to understand that self-care doesn’t just mean doing things you enjoy. Sometimes the activities we undertake to unwind and zone out can have unhealthy side effects like overeating or binge-watching moronic TV shows.
Instead, self-care involves activities that benefit your physical, mental, or spiritual well-being — like exercise, deep breathing, and meditation.
Click here for my series of articles regarding the ‘Healthy Human Body.’
Self-care is rooted in the feeling that you are complete.
The primary goal of self-care is a healthy body and brain that sustains a person’s well-being. The brain and body need proper nutrition in various forms every day.
On the daily nourishment tray should be seven healthy dishes: 1) sleep time, 2) physical time, 3) connecting time, 4) focus time, 5) time in, 6) time out, and 7) playtime.
A healthy day — as viewed by the brain and body — follows a natural cycle. You awaken having had enough sleep to be adequately rested. You focus intensely with enough timeouts to let the brain rebalance. You have downtime for doing no mental work — allowing the mind and brain to simply be. And you set aside a period for what many Westerners neglect — going inward through meditation or self-reflection. This is the most precious time since it opens the way for awareness, evolution, and growth.
Self-care gives you a break from stress and anxiety.
Self-care won’t eliminate all the negative stress and anxiety in your life. But it will give you a much-needed break from everyday work and life stressors. Moreover, self-care gives you a reprieve from technology — allowing you to recharge and even improve the quality of your life.
Self-care is most effective when you engage in activities that zero in on your six senses. This would include massages, breathing exercises, visual relaxers, aromatherapy, and quiet interludes.
You could also do things that make you happy, such as going to the movies, crafting, or writing. You could also participate in spiritual activities such as communing in nature, meditating, and praying. And there’s no greater stress buster than physical activity.
Self-care improves your cerebral functions and sleep time.
People who look after themselves and practice self-care typically have better cognitive ability. As an example, mindfulness can reduce mind-wandering and improve focus and concentration.
If you are sleep-deprived — because of poor self-care — your memory, focus, decision-making abilities, and motivation can all suffer. With proper self-care, sleep can be the healing activity that nature designed it to be.
Another issue with sleep deprivation is if you’re using your smartphone right before bed. Such activity — accompanied by the blue light emitted from the phone screen — can impact your ability to fall asleep and delay the release of melatonin, which is a natural compound that helps regulate the circadian rhythm and synchronize the sleep-wake cycle.
Self-care can be incorporated into a hectic schedule.
Despite the many benefits of self-care, most people don’t prioritize it in their hectic lives. Many people just don’t believe they have the time.
Fortunately, there are many ways to incorporate self-care into your schedule — no matter how busy you are.
For starters, establish a daily schedule that 1) includes a self-care morning routine, 2) blocks out time for working on your most important tasks during your peak productivity hours, and 3) provides for frequent breaks throughout the day.
During your designated breaks, move away from the things causing you stress. Instead, you might take a short walk outside, journal, meditate, find inspiration in a book, or connect with a friend.
Also, be sure that you establish some boundaries. For example, if you don’t want to be interrupted while working, don’t accept any last-minute meeting requests — and turn off your phone.
If you’ve already made plans, such as attending a class or having dinner with your family, say “no” to any requests that interfere with those plans.
Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive or time-consuming.
If you let it, self-care can become a little ‘spendy’ (e.g., expensive spa days, gym memberships, and retreats).
But practicing self-care doesn’t have to be costly or time-consuming. It’s most effective when focusing on short, frequent self-care activities instead of infrequent, elaborate, expensive efforts.
Self-care is not meant to be a selfish indulgence.
Self-care may sound like a selfish luxury — it’s anything but. Self-care gives you the energy to pursue the things that matter. And that’s a great use of your time.
There’s no one-size-fits-all for self-care. The type of self-care needed varies from person to person, moment to moment. And it may take some trial and error to figure out what works best for you.
Many people think of self-care as ‘treating yourself.’ If you feel guilty about taking time for self-care and worry that it’s a selfish or irresponsible use of resources, try thinking of it as maintenance rather than an indulgence.
Self-care should include some alone time.
Occasional solitude can be a constructive aspect of self-care (click here for my articles regarding ‘The Art of Solo’).
Spending time alone can build mental strength, spark creativity, increase productivity, and empower empathy. Aloneness allows you to ponder thoughts, process ideas, solve problems, and get to know yourself better.
Knowing what is best for you can be difficult when you’re always listening to what others want or need.
Another positive aspect of solitude is that it’s much easier to meditate and practice gratitude. Both are great ways to reduce stress and power your motivation moving forward.
Self-care enables you to give more to the world.
Self-care can create a ‘better you’ who is ready to go out there and give to the world in some meaningful way.
And let’s be honest: helping others makes you feel great. When you help constructively — whether acting as a volunteer, mentor, teacher, or benefactor — it provides perspective on life and strengthens your bond with it.
Self-care should be your top priority.
One of life’s most essential mandates is to always care for yourself first before caring for others. Going non-stop to help others without taking proper care of yourself will eventually take a toll on your body.
It’s important to realize that you can only help others if you prioritize your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. Learn to put yourself first by guiltlessly understanding that self-care is necessary.
When you prioritize yourself, you will realize you have more energy for yourself and others. You will also be happier, healthier, less stressed, and more clear-headed while in pursuit of your life purpose.
The bottom line
Self-care doesn’t have to be a drain on your time or cost much. But skipping it could cost you big time in the long run. Stress can take its toll on your emotional, mental, and physical health — especially in times of crisis.
Instead, you can help protect yourself by keeping different self-care remedies in your tool kit.
You can experiment with different breathing techniques, meditation sessions, and exercise programs to determine what’s most effective. In addition, be sure to occasionally unplug from the hustle and bustle of daily life — and just Be.
Some self-care remedies may suit your lifestyle more than others — but what’s essential is that you understand the importance of self-care and make time for it.
Above all, love thyself as you love others.
