Soundtrack: Pre-Date Pump-Up

The best way to handle the natural nervousness that comes along with going on a first date with an internet stranger/possible murderer is to drown it out! Just fuckin’ blast music into your brain in order to replace the bad thoughts. Here’s a selection of my top picks!


‘California’ by Grimes

Ok, so Grimes is kinda a weirdo. This is a known fact. But ‘California,’ as referenced previously, might as well be the unofficial theme song of ThursDating. The rolling guitar, the beat (cribbed from fucking ‘Pon De Replay’!!! Vintage Rihanna!!!! YES!), the loud almost-yodel of her voice on the word California — this is the perfect song for walking OR driving. It is unabashedly girly, with a message that’s all about being done with a fuckboy. Well, it might also be about drowning. But WHATEVER. This song, at full volume, on repeat, could fuel me to do anything.

‘Buddy’ by The Orwells

This new song by The Orwells is one minute and twenty-six seconds long. There is no lull in which you can get anxious about potentially being catfished — the whole thing just BANGS. Other songs by The Orwells are also great for feeling kinda scummy but sexy (if you can get past that it’s a band of like… 16-year-olds with a lot of hair, which might be the least sexy thing to ever happen). Also, the chorus to this song is “goodbye buddy,” so it’s a great song for exiting the date triumphantly if things DO go bad.

‘Where’s Your Head At’ by Basement Jaxx

Whereas ‘Buddy’ came out a week ago, ‘Where’s Your Head At’ came out in 2001. This song is AS OLD AS the members of The Orwells. And sure, this song has already gone through the life cycle of popularity —> remix —> featured in a Girl Talk song —> irrelevancy, but, jeez, talk about a song that gets the blood pumping. Full minutes of this song are just, like, British dudes from the 90’s house scene yelping over beats. This song is responsible for approximately 100% of the times that I decide to run up the stairs of the train instead of walking like a normal person.

‘Pop That’ by French Montana ft. Rick Ross, Lil Wayne, Aubrey Graham

DON’T STOP POP THAT DON’T STOP POP THAT POP THAT POP THAT

Rack City by Tyga (ft. the worst, most hysterical lyric video of all time)

For the purposes of this blog, we’re gonna forget that Tyga is probably a child predator. Because in 2011, when this song came out, we didn’t know about that. All we knew was that this song went harder than any single track had any right to do. And for that reason, I listened to this song before every single job interview, cross country race, standardized test… you name it, I pumped up for it to ‘Rack City.’ The line “I’m a muhfuckin starrrrrrr, look at the paint on the carrrrrrr” single-handedly got me into college. Now, that low, droning backing beat induces a kind of meditative state, and I get all laser-focused and calm when I hear it. Which is great for advanced levels of ‘why the fuck am I on this date,’ when I’m beyond needing a boost of confidence and am onto needing the kind of deep, powerful energy that only 2011 rap classic ‘Rack City’ can provide.

Runners-up include:

  • 212 by Azealia Banks
  • Loaded (ft. G-Eazy) by DJ Carnage
  • Knock Knock by Mac Miller
  • Sweatpants by Childish Gambino
  • New York by Angel Haze

(Newsflash, I’m basically a frat boy.)

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