Week Eight: Colin 2 (Update)
How many times did you check your email during your last date??? If you’re me, and your last date was with Colin #2, that number is THREE TIMES. It got so bad, in fact, that I actually responded to an email and sorted some messages into folders.
Colin made his moves quickly— from an enthusiastic first interaction on Hinge to asking me out in 10 messages or less. And then he had to postpone, like I said in my original post, but I was still excited. I arrived at the bar, very excited and only a little bit subway sweaty.
I’m gonna just dive in: he didn’t really speak great English. Or like — he might have? In some situations? I hate to cast aspersions. But I had a roommate whose second language was English for two years of college, and I know what someone who speaks English like... ooookay looks like. A lot of blankness when someone talks fast (me, when nervous!) or uses big words (me, the asshole lit major!) or when the bar gets a little too loud (…this one isn’t on me!). And I’m the wordiest motherfucker you will ever meet. And he was just. not. following.
He was in finance. Anyone in finance immediately turns me into a massive parody of myself, where I go “numbers, WOW!” “math, CRAZY!” “Excel, what a MIRACLE!!!” like a total idiot, because somehow somewhere I decided that making someone else feel super smart is the best way to get them to like you. Unfortunately, it can also make you sound like a dipshit. I was basically like “I love colors! And sounds? And things and stuff? Oh man.” I had the nagging feeling the whole time that he found me very, very weird. Mostly because he… never talked. At all.
I bailed. I will own that. I bailed HARD. I left WHILE he was still closing his tab with an excuse about my friend who was freaking out (me. I am my own best friend) and walk/ran down the street to the nearest restaurant, where I met my friend Harper (remember her?) and laughed off the terribleness of the date into a plate of spaghetti carbonara and a glass of wine. I might as well change the name of the blog to ‘Eat, Pray, Go On Terrible Dates’.
Now: a TWO WEEK BREAK from dates while I go on spring break. But don’t worry, there will still be Tuesday posts coming your way with more playlists for the complex dating situations of modern life, plus a look into the exciting world of Hinge!
