The Merchant’s Wife
How a Russian artist restored my joy in being me
When I first saw the young woman I call Faina, which means “Shining,” I wanted a do-over of my youth. Then I realized I didn’t need to settle for a “Shoulda, coulda” fantasy. I own myself in my old age. I love being me. I cover me with colors now. And headdresses like Faina’s!
Life should include times like this, no matter how tough the going gets.
Oh, I have had mine. Once Upon a Dream. The bright moments can always be found if we do not close our eyes tight against them. If it is just tea and oranges, I feel better. If my own tabby cat happened to be nearby, it would by pure joy.
We don’t have choices about everything in life, but we do have choice in how we live with the experiences that happen. How we get through each day. Even when it seems like we don’t.
There is an old Zen story about a man chased over a cliff by a hungry tiger. He survives by holding onto a branch as he goes over the edge. There is a moment of relief before he realizes a mouse is gnawing on the branch and is halfway through its meal.
He looks about in desperation. And he sees, growing on a rock within reach of his hand, the most beautiful strawberries he has ever seen. He picks one and eats it. It is glorious.
The story ends there. It’s one of those half full, half empty glass Zen stories that people react to in different ways. Does he survive? My favorite Zen saying from another story is: “Maybe so. Maybe not.”
That sums up how life goes. Eat each strawberry that comes your way. And feed the cat that rubs up against you. Live well.
