I think I still seem trans. But I don’t think trans should be a thing. Shouldn’t be an ailment in need of medical treatment or word games. I’m just a person.
They said it wouldn’t hurt. Said it wouldn’t feel any different.
A piece of my brain screams alarm constantly at the wound unhealed.
Trans doctrine defined me as lesbian, and medical professionals affirmed this. It’s strange in retrospect to have one’s sexuality be medicalized.
I struggle to accept that effeminacy does not make me gay. I struggle to accept that me possibly being gay would be OK.
I didn’t hear the word “autogynephilia” until detransition. Transition doctors denied my concern for self-fetishism as being a natural condition in all women.
I wish the movement had stayed with rights of dress in society, free of medical involvement/experimentation.
Sex can’t change. Feelings will change. Treatment is mindbending, and it scars for life. Considering these outcomes is taboo. Surprise. Shush.
When they say you can go back, what they really mean is they think they can alter you further but in a different direction that would result in a similar state as before (and they are wrong).
Once, my body looked wrong. Now (additionally and worse), my body feels wrong.