Can Humans Learn To Love Unconditionally?
Love starts with a choice to get to know yourself.
In one of her relationship articles, Kris Gage says that love is not a feeling — it is a choice. Illustrating this idea with an analogy with the business world, she writes:
“Many business owners are “all in” on their company, but they aren’t committed because it’s “the one”; it’s “the one” because they’re committed.”
I like that notion. This means that we get to decide whether or not we love somebody. It also implies that a good relationship is not something that shall one day fall upon us — but something we can intentionally create.
The relationships we build with others can be expressions of love. However, they are often also founded on many other things — dependency, mutual interest, exchange of favours, and so on. Most people only enter a relationship if they think they can benefit from it.
Support. Trust. Feeling less alone. Whatever it is, if we treat one of these things as a prerequisite to love, we put a condition on the experience. We will only consider ourselves to be in love for as long as the condition lasts. It is, of course, very understandable and thoroughly human.
That’s why the most common kind of love is a conditional one.
