Unconforming 05 / Unconforming
by unconform studio | January 2020 issue | Subscribe here
Issue 05 / Unconforming
Dear Friends,
As 2019 drew to a close, with reflection guides and intention setters floating around the internet, I took some time to think about what it means to Unconform.
For example, as a South Asian female, I unconform by not giving into [what I call] “the boy project.” Better known as arranged marriage, this is still a social norm in South Asia among all socio-economic classes — even though newer generations have made huge strides pushing back on it. Many close friends have made getting married a priority — and I have been secretly proud of not conforming to arranged marriage despite societal pressures.
In my reflection however, I came to realize that my secret pride is borderline arrogance. That I am also secretly judgmental of my friends who have — despite their privilege — conformed. I judged them for not contributing to help break down old social norms. I was quietly angry with them for “pulling down” on the progress other women have made by not getting married.
Over the last few weeks, I have felt ashamed of my arrogance, judgement and anger. I reminded myself that it takes effort to unconform. Women especially, face pushback whether they decide to go one way or another on several topics including marriage, motherhood, professional ambition and many more.
Catalyst, a women’s focused non-profit has extensively studied this pushback for professional women. They call it the double-bind dilemma. “When women take charge, they are viewed as competent leaders — but disliked. When women take care they are liked — but viewed as less competent leaders,” summarizes Catalyst.
As I read about the double-bind, I felt that an important part of unconforming is to share the ways in which we do so. In the spirit of reflection, I invite you to share your ways:
Stay tuned for an additional issue this month as we share a special project, and more about what we’ve been up to at Unconform Studio.
Thank you for reading, here’s wishing you an Unconforming 2020!
— Mansi
Postscripts —
A quick follow up on authenticity gaps:
In 2019, we wrote a lot about brand authenticity — consumers, citizens, employees want to see that what brands & companies say they do and what they actually do lines up.
This new year, I found myself deep in the comment–debates spurred by a heartfelt letter from the Everlane founder. Many followers complained that Everlane’s #radicaltransparency claim is just a claim and nothing more — whether it is for the treatment of their workers or conscious production.
Yes, authenticity is complicated — especially when perception bias sets in. But did Everlane take their #radicaltransparency claim too far? What do you think
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