#23. Appreciate, but do not go overboard!

I personally feel this is one of the biggest weaknesses of facilitators — they tend to go overboard when they appreciate or motivate their learners. Why? They either do one of the following things:

1. “Good job, Adam!” — They are too generic when they appreciate.
2. “You are the most obedient child I have ever seen, Adam!” (To someone who is not) — They exaggerate so much that most of their content is not from the heart, but they do it just so that they can win that particular moment.
3. “Adam, I’m so glad that you are doing this much better than Ben!” — They appreciate at the cost of demotivating some other learner. Remember, Ben is sitting right next to Adam. He is crushed.

From the above points, it is quite easy to guess the remedies, isn’t it. Let’s go over them anyway. When you appreciate:

1. Be specific: When you are specific about your comments, the child realizes that you are observing him keenly, and that you genuinely care for his growth. He feels respected. Why don’t you try: “Good job, Adam. Let me tell you why I like it.”
2. Be realistic: It’s simple. Do not LIE! Don’t ever let that child to think of himself as someone he is not. Why don’t you try: “It’s good to note you are working on the feedback that was given to you, Adam. Let’s continue to work on it together.” Keep it balanced and sincere.
3. Be respectful of other learners: We touched upon this in the last post as well. Though your intention is good, implementation is not. Spare the other learners, please! Instead, why don’t you simulate this mindset: “Hmmm. Each learner is unique. It would not be right if I compare other learners with Adam. Let me treat each individual by his/her own merit.”

Definitely, there are more points to this. But these are some of the key areas that we can focus on.