Dear CCF,
Here we are, at another season of goodbyes. This time, it’s finally my turn to go.
It’s been an unbelievable ride. I’m amazed, looking back at the reality of my university years and seeing just how much went down. It feels surreal to recount the blessings, curses (which turned out to be blessings in disguise) and miracles I’ve encountered along the way. In hindsight now, in light of all the great things that God has done, my only explanation is that I’ve got to be one of His most spoiled children.
The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy. — Psalm 126:3
Over the years, I’ve been humbled repeatedly, learning and maturing much faster than I ever thought possible. I’ve celebrated an abundance of joys and have been brought low more times than I can count (I honestly reckon that I started university more immature than most). I’ve seen people come and go. I’ve felt times of both healing and hurt. God has given some, and He has taken some. In all of this, one testimony remains true: He has done far more than I could have asked or imagined.
To him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory — Ephesians 3:20–21
I’m grateful for all of you, who made the journey what it was. My time at university would have been for nothing if not for all of you in CCF. From these 5 years, what I’ll remember most won’t be the education, the place, or the lifestyle, but the people God has given me time with (YOU). To be real, I’ll probably forget everything else — quickly too. But the individuals who make up this lovely fellowship will stay with me for life, even if I don’t see some of you again until heaven.
I thank my God in all my remembrance of you — Philippians 1:3
I wanted to write this as a sort of parting letter, seeing as how I’m moving on from Waterloo. I’d like to share some stories and highlights from my time here with you. Hopefully, you’ll find them encouraging. I pray that these testaments of God’s goodness will spur you on and warm your heart as you read.
This chapter is finally closing for me, but maybe not for you. Your chapter in this university fellowship may have just begun, and Lord willing, hopefully has lots in store yet to come.
Oh, save your people and bless your heritage! Be their shepherd and carry them forever — Psalm 28:9
In the Beginnings
The LORD your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place — Deuteronomy 1:31
You don’t plan your life. Some people might think they do. Some people even try very hard. The reality is, God plans everything. That’s a fact that I’m very glad is true. Being a big planner, I distinctly remember my last year of high school. It was a time to make big decisions, and university wasn’t even close to being one of my top options. I had in mind vastly different ideas, though, behind all of them, I just wanted to go where my God went. I had made the commitment to Him within a year prior, in the moments of my conversion/surrender to Christ that I would do whatever He wanted me to do. My life was His. This was my “mantra”: “Anything. Anytime. Anywhere. Just say the word, I’ll do it.”
Part of me expected God to lead me halfway across the globe, to die somewhere on the mission field. Another part of me expected a radical change in lifestyle here in the West, going into some form of ministry. No part of me that I could tell, however, ever wanted to join my peers in post-secondary education. Now, 5 years later, look where that got me. God sure has a great sense of humour, doesn’t He?
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps — Proverbs 16:9
The story behind how I ended up in Waterloo is a memorable one. It differs from the typical student norm, and used to make me feel like a black sheep every time people asked. It all started when I asked my local church leaders for wisdom. Many of them told me (to my surprise) that I should go and experience university life. Not for the career or the education itself, but for the experience. They told me to go and relate to people my age by living alongside them. That would be the way to learn how to serve them.
“To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings” — 1 Corinthians 9:22–23
Looking back, I now see great wisdom in what they shared. It wasn’t about me or even really for me. It was about others, and it was for God. It wasn’t about choosing the optimal path for my future success, but it was simply about going into the world, where others were. To win over my peers, I ought to become like them, as a student. I wanted to serve and be useful, and this was their advice. The best way to serve others was to walk alongside them.
For they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. They are not of the world, even as I am not of it… As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world — John 17:14–16, 18
This lesson changed my entire outlook on life and decision-making. Its implications have carried me and my priorities far from where they would be otherwise, and always for the better. Every time I’ve gone the wrong way with my choices/actions, or even just found myself in a conflict with another person, it was pretty much always because I forgot my priorities and needed to be reminded or retaught. It’s quite humiliating actually… In a sense, I’ve been learning this one over and over again, on repeat.
Other translations of this same lesson can be found throughout scripture. “Seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness” (Mat 6), “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20). When you prioritize God first, and look to the interests of others above your own, you in essence fulfill all of God’s law. You need not worry about anything else. The “big life decisions” will come easily if you set your heart and mind on things above.
Switching programs from Civil Eng to Psych, intentionally searching for co-ops exclusively in Waterloo, and leaving my extracurriculars and jobs for more time to serve were just some of the decisions that seemed crazy to people at the time. You’d likely be shocked to hear some of the other ones. To the “normal” peer, friend, or even family member, these decisions would seemingly make no sense whatsoever. But between me and God, whenever I made one of those for Him and others (rather than myself), I’ve always always always come out the other end full of joy and with no regrets.
“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him“ — 1 Corinthians 2:9
This Home Away From Home
After being advised to go to university, my next question was naturally, “which one?”
I never looked into or visited any universities. I didn’t care about institutional fame or reputation, and as you know, the quality of education was beside the point. Clearly, after being told Waterloo was ugly numerous times, the setting didn’t matter to me much either. As fate and God would have it, my church pastor one day gave a short comment that would decide where I would spend the next five years.
I remember the instance like it was yesterday. All he said was simply, “Waterloo is good. I think they have the best fellowship” after I brought up the subject of university with him. And that was all it took. Ezpz decision making. I don’t think I even asked him for any details. Just like that, I had the notion set in my mind about attending this “amazing campus fellowship” he was talking about.
What made a fellowship “good?” How was Waterloo CCF good, or even better than other fellowships? I had no idea. To this day, I still don’t know if that’s even true. I assumed he had connections or some pastoral insight. Perhaps, I reasoned, he was familiar with the fellowship itself, being a Waterloo alum who became Christian through campus fellowship. Turns out, there was a slight detail that I missed. I found out years later that my pastor went to MCCF while he was here (not CCF) and that he was talking about a different fellowship altogether. Did I mention I think God has a sense of humour?
Thinking back to how God has shaped my history, these small details always bring a smile to my face. God works in mysterious ways and is constantly controlling minute details to craft a marvellous future. He is doing this for you too, by the way, at this very moment even — so trust Him. You don’t need to grasp so tightly at a future that you’ve envisioned for yourself (I see a lot of this in our Asian culture/academically minded community). There’s so much peace and excitement that you lose out on if you worry or fret.
Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand. — John 13:7
God had in His plan to bring me to UW, and to put me in CCF for these 5 years — I have no doubt about it. Soon after my initial arrival, I would begin to see so much of His mighty hand nurturing and guiding my personal growth through this fellowship. CCF was by no means the perfect place, or even close to being problem-free, but in the hands of God, it was going to be more meaningful and impactful than I could have ever expected. By God’s kindness to me, this place would quickly become like a home away from home for me, and the fellow Christians here like real brothers and sisters.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand — Isaiah 41:10
The Field of Plentiful Harvest
This brings me to my next big theme of reflection: Campus ministry. My appreciation for it has only grown as time went by. As a missions field, I can’t imagine a better one with a more fruitful harvest. I’ve been on missions trips, served in numerous churches, different youth/YA fellowships across the GTA/Waterloo, and in other parachurch ministries, but none of them have matched the level of harvest as the campus ministry here in CCF.
“The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” — Matthew 9:37–38
Being able to serve God here has been really impactful for me. So much of my personal growth and sanctification can be linked to it in some way. Some of my best memories of CCF are the ones gained while knees-deep into ministry. Sleeves-rolled, hands-dirty, heart-on-the-line ministry. Let me give you a few pictures of what I’m talking about:
- It’s past midnight, and everyone has left Foodie Fruitie — except us. I’ve been talking to a new or not-yet believer for the past 2/3 hours, and the topic of discussion has surrounded Jesus the entire time. By the look in his eyes, he’s still got a hundred or so more questions locked and loaded, ready to fire. I can just feel it, his soul has been starving for God and his truth.
- It’s been over 3 hours, and we’re still locked into a DG sesh. All 5 of us guys are still crammed and huddled in my small bedroom, with little to no airflow, but that doesn’t bother us. We have only God and each other on our minds. We’ve been interrogating each other about the state of our souls, running back again and again to the Bible for wisdom and counsel. Soon, all of us are going to get on our knees together to petition God for help. There’s laughing. There’s grieving. We’re thankful for each other, and excited for next week when we get to meet again.
- Everyone expected us to have the entire passage done by now. We’re two hours into this Bible study, and yet we’re still only a few verses in. The discussion was just that good. Each word seemed to spring up a lengthy back and forth. Every verse felt like it held mountains of mind-blowing truths, and that we would never get to the bottom of it. At some pivotal points during the study, members would exclaim, “Wow! That’s awesome. God is so good!” And I would imagine a light bulb turning on above their head like they had a “eureka!” moment. Their smiles said it all. They would leave this study wanting more of the Bible and of God.
In these moments, I have felt more blessed than at any other time in my life. The privilege to be on the King’s business is one thing, and another entirely to share in so much joy. I not only get the priceless gift of seeing God at work (doing live-action miracles in people’s hearts) but also to be a part of it. Throughout these years of pouring out into others, I feel like I have gained a hundredfold for every bit of effort I’ve put in. Where I sowed in time, energy, and heart, I have reaped an otherworldly sense of pleasure in witnessing salvation, sanctification, and mutual encouragement. Where I invested in formerly unfamiliar people, I have now gained back as lifelong friends, brothers, and even spiritual sons.
“Jesus said, ‘Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time — Mark 10:29–30
Single Father with Many Sons
Sometimes, looking at my boys now, I feel like a dad.
“To … my true child in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.” — 1 Timothy 1:2
“My beloved children” —(Paul, the single and never married man), 1 Corinthians 4:14
Leading DG in particular has been one of the biggest blessings throughout my University years. Being able to disciple, live alongside, and walk regularly with these guys, I’ve gotten to enjoy a little taste of fatherhood, brotherhood, and friendship, all at the same time.
It’s quite a special feeling, to be proud of someone else after seeing how they’ve grown, matured, and become more like Christ — all after praying for them consistently and pouring into them with heart and soul. It’s one of the most encouraging experiences a guy can have.
“What is our hope or joy or crown of boasting before our Lord Jesus at his coming? Is it not you? For you are our glory and joy” — 1 Thessalonians 2:19–20
DG as a ministry will always have a special place in my heart. It has stretched me in my capacity to care for and love others, and made me see the need to rely on God for any kind of fruit. I remember many occasions when I felt weak, immature, and incapable of doing any good for these boys — and yet God would turn my needy prayers into memorable and edifying nights week after week.
So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. — 1 Corinthians 3:7
I can’t thank God enough for the opportunity. Many nights, I would end DG sessions smiling all the way until bed, just from seeing their growing faith. Even now sometimes, when I see my boys serving in various capacities around CCF, evangelizing, or just striving to bring God glory, I just can’t help breaking out in a happy grin.
For now we live, if you are standing fast in the Lord. For what thanksgiving can we return to God for you, for all the joy that we feel for your sake before our God — 1 Thessalonians 3:8–9
My brothers, my sons, my boys. If you’re reading this, keep pressing on. I love you guys.
To Finish Writing
Before this article goes on too long, I think I can conclude with one more thing to thank God for.
CCF, I’m grateful that I’ve gotten the chance to write to all of you these past few years. Even in writing this now, I think back to how I first discovered a love for writing. It all started with you. A little less than 3 years ago, I submitted my first piece to blog ministry, and things just started rolling from there. I began to pick up a joy for writing and an eagerness to share about God through written words. It wouldn’t have happened without any of you.
See with what large letters I am writing to you with my own hand — Galatians 6:11
You gave me a reason to write. The goal behind every article was for your encouragement and edification. Yet I found something surprising and precious even there. Through writing, I’ve discovered more gains for myself than I’ve likely been able to give. I realized that articulating my thoughts about a topic for the sake of sharing it with other people forced me to learn it in depth. Crafting sentences so that I could benefit others with every word caused me to think and reflect deeply on God’s truths. Unknowingly, I was being played by God. I thought I was doing good to Him and others through writing. But in reality, God and others were doing good to me.
One gives freely, yet gains even more — Proverbs 11:24
Sometimes, I can hardly believe how much time I’ve spent writing, it’s crazy. At this point, I’m pretty sure I’ve spent more time writing for blog min than I have for my degree. I can think back to so many memorable lessons and pieces. For example:
- Predestined, yet Free — Tackling the recurring debates on Predestination vs. Free will (for some reason every year’s frosh seems to have this phase lol)
- Your Choice: Discerning God’s Will for Your Life — Helping those who struggle with understanding what God wants for their lives (so many students don’t know how to make choices and are confused about what God wants them to do)
- The Dark Side of University Christian Fellowship — Envisioning what would happen if CCF were to go downhill, and warning against it (this felt like my Uni capstone project haha)
- Busyness is (not) Your Friend — Cautioning CCF leaders and those who serve on burning out (A hard-to-learn lesson to my ambitious and hardworking boys)
- Let’s Hate Gossip — Calling out the sin of gossip (a prevalent issue I hope disappears for good)
When I read back my own pieces now, sometimes it feels like a stranger wrote them. But it also brings back memories — lots of memories — of lessons learnt through repeated hardships, mind-numbing effort, and diligent Bible-searching. I recall the valuable moments spent with God in each article. They were priceless.
I remember how periodically, the conviction to write would suddenly appear, along with a clear idea and supernatural strength. Some of those writing sessions were downright miraculous. I could tell — because most other times, trying to write would be tremendously hard. On many occasions, I had to pray and pray and pray for almost an hour just to get a sentence on the page.
In hindsight, I’m glad that God has brought me into those times of difficulty — because He also brought me out. For every article, I know that it was only completed because God gave me the strength to finish writing. In the same way, soon, I can feel that He’s about to do it one more time.
The time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. — 2 Timothy 4:6-7
Friends. My chapter here is over, but God is still writing. You might not know what comes next, but do trust that He is a fantastic Author. In the coming years, I pray that He will write gloriously through you. May the stories that He has for you and CCF echo down through the ages. Personally, I can’t wait to hear what He has in store for you.
Until we meet again.
Thank you for everything.
“I had much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink. I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace be to you” — 3 John 1:13–15
