Wearing My Bi Pride on My Skin

For me, being visibly out is liberating. Empowering, even.

For years and years, I convinced myself that everyone knew about me being bi (or, at least, assumed it). I believed that just me being me made it so obvious that I didn’t need to directly draw attention to it.

I was absolutely fooling myself.

Not only did I not realize how much I was holding back — shrinking and contorting myself because of the environment in which I was raised, because of living in constant mental survival mode, and, unexpectedly, because of internalized biphobia — but, it turns out that even when I truly was being undeniably obvious, most people were oblivious anyway.

No matter how obviously not-hetero I think am, I am still viewed through the heteronormative lens of our society. The truth is, almost no one ever looked at me and correctly assumed my queerness (let alone, specifically, my bisexuality — which has its own special tier visibility issues).

The thing is, I wish it was true, though. I want to be able to exist without feeling like any part of me is invisible. I want to feel seen and understood — or, at least, not wholly misunderstood — without the need to expend so much energy and effort. Without the need to explain myself — to come out — over and over and over again.

I want random people I never so much as speak to to see me living my life and have it challenge their heteronormative assumptions. Have it…