Overcoming Your Negotiation Fears

Featured Columnist: Cindy Robinzon Wiesel

Our previous article addressed the reasons why women do not even work up the nerve to ask for better terms in job negotiations. That article was based on the book Women Don’t Ask by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever. The article discussed common fears women experience that prevent them from reaching success in negotiations. So what can one do to overcome those fears? In their follow-up book, Ask for It, Linda and Sara identify a number of ideas and strategies for success in negotiation.

The key to conquering your fears and developing confidence is simple: Preparation.

Most fears stem from a lack of knowledge about a particular subject or issue. The less you know about a topic, the less confidently you can assess what it will entail. The imagination runs wild, opening the door for nerves and fears. This translates into fears about how successful the negotiation will be. After all, if I don’t know all the details about what I’m negotiating, how do I know I won’t sound ridiculous?

The more you prepare for a negotiation, the more confident you will feel going in. The more confident you feel, the more openly you can communicate and come to a mutually agreeable deal.

Here are some key tips on preparing for a negotiation:

• Familiarize yourself with basic negotiation skills. Books like Ask for It and events like The WIN Summit help provide skills and training to help beef up negotiating powers
• Know the parties involved. Understand your own argument, including its flaws and shortcomings, as well as what you bring to the company. Know exactly with whom you are about to negotiate. Every company has a culture, a driving philosophy, long and short term goals, internal politics. The more you know about a company and those who run it, the better equipped you will be to arrive at a deal that benefits everybody
• Recognize all the different issues that will arise in the negotiation. Is it just salary? Are you also looking for benefits? What kinds of things will be asked of you during the negotiation? Preparation for the content of a negotiation is key to its success
• Train yourself not to take a negative response personally. Your opponent in negotiation is not your enemy; she is simply trying to act in the company’s best interest. Be careful not to confuse being challenged for being attacked. Do not jeopardize a future relationship or your reputation over the course of your negotiation!
• Understand the positions of those who will be making the final decision. Is the person you are negotiating with the final decision maker? Your negotiations cannot just appeal to your negotiating partner, the final decision must appeal to all those involved in the decision making process
• Set a range for yourself. What is the absolute minimum requirement for agreement? What is your actual expectation? What is your dream offer? It is critical to have your goals visualized before sitting down at the negotiation table (and just as critical to have a backup plan if the negotiation fails)
• Remove those pre-negotiation jitters by practicing the negotiation with a friend beforehand. The more regular something feels, the less intimidating it is. Indeed, when trying to release negotiation butterflies, practice makes perfect. Additionally, practicing arguments highlights their weak spots and illuminates the areas that need better wording

Perhaps the greatest strategy for overcoming fears in negotiation is recognizing that a negotiation is a cooperative event.

Two parties are able to cooperate with each other only when the channels for communication between them are open. Fear of communicating in a negotiation translates into a loss for both the company and the employee.

The mark of a good negotiation is a win for both sides. The recipe for a good negotiation is good communication.

The WIN Summit is presented annually by The Negotiation Institute. TNI has been providing training solutions to companies across the globe for over 50 years. Under the initiative of incoming TNI Chairman, Jack Simony, WIN Summit was launched in 2015 to empower and educate women through the Art of Negotiation. For more information on the WIN Summit, follow us on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Instagram. Make sure to visit our site and register for the 2018 WIN Summit on May 2nd, 2018 in NYC.