Flow
As arbitrary as new years can be, I love the opportunity it gives to sink in and sit with what’s come before and what I’d like to see unfold.
For the last few? couple? years, I’ve been poking around at the #8foldpath and finding joy/meaning in my life and work. A lot of it is pretty standard fare (hello, awareness of mortality!) and a lot of it feels like the dovetail of what my experiences bring to bear and what I’m meant to do with this odd little life of mine.
This is a bit of a continuation from my last post and a bit random ramblings (as I do).
Every year, my Sifu asks us to set a training goal. And for many years, it’s been about sinking deeper into the art and finding joy. There’s a way in which I can rush and get caught up in the little stuff and miss the journey and the moment. So much is challenging to me (I am the perpetual white belt) — and so much distracts me (ohai shiny objects, can I haz?) — that my learning is often not as linear as it perhaps should be. There’s something in this about discipline and focus being part of my lifelong lessons. But/and…if I can let that go (or try to) and just keep showing up…there’s so much I get out of the doing of the thing.
It’s interesting being a recovering achiever. Don’t get me wrong, I take pride in my #workethic and my desire to improve. That’s not something I’d like to keep. But** when you step away from chasing accolades or external approval (work in progress, yo), the good stuff happens. Over the last couple of years, I’ve been noticing how many things I do just for the sheer joy of it. And how many things I do just for my own personal joy. My lizard brain rages at how poorly I play ‘ukulele (sucha dabbler!), how infrequently I use my SUP, how much I blather on when I write (ohai!), how much better I’d be at painting if I’d just apply myself, how small my design studio remains (some of this is intentional), how my design studio has primarily been the cumulation of accidental good fortune...
And. And all of these things bring me such joy. And maybe that’s enough? (Shaddup lizard, I’m busy.)
So. I’ve been sitting with all of this and talking with folks and trying to find words — alignment (external and internal), embodiment (feels incomplete), connection — to capture my training/practice goals for the year.
Going back to the #8foldpath, the last few years have been rich with the opportunities to practice mental development (right mindfulness, concentration) and ethical conduct (right speech, action, livelihood). Still very much a work in progress, but I can see how that was the crux of my work and where I needed to focus (and will continue to focus). Sitting at the start of this year, I’m noticing my focus shifting toward wisdom (right view, intention). Not because I’m particularly wise (I eschew that ish). But because I want to practice that muscle. Especially this year.
There’s more I want to chew on wrt the #8foldpath, and it’ll likely be the source of more musings. But let’s tie things up a bit as I’m admittedly procrastinating and need to get some work done.
Sinking into what I do. Finding joy. Alignment. Being in my body. Connection. These things all loop back to anchoring me into now. That seems to be the rub in all teh things. There’s a way in which the things I love bring me more fully into the moment. You know that thing? When you’re so completely into a thing that you can remember the texture and smells and sounds of everything around you while you were doing that thing? That thing when you’re so in tune with other folks that your every movement, even your breath, is in time and in alignment? How you can get completely lost in music…and be absolutely feeling everything in your heart well up to meet the sound?
You know how that is?
Words are inadequate, but I’mma settle on #flow to sum this up. And I guess that’s it. That’s the goal for this year. To do all the things as a practice and way to get to that #flow. There’s more in there about equanimity and noself and who knows what else. And. This is what I’m here for this year. To sink into all the things, find joy (love, even), and to bring it all together so I can do my part, no matter how small. Cuz it’s all hands on deck, yo.
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*But do feel free to veer away from the rivers and lakes that you’re used to…
** But == but/and, ok? kthx :-D
