Rough Seas and Small Victories: The Duty to Parent Up!
Parenthood, regardless of the number of children, is demanding. It’s an adventure packed with sleepless nights, more sleepless nights, joyful milestones, and countless discoveries. Have I mentioned sleepless nights?
But one simple truth stands out for me:
As parents, we must take full responsibility for our children, no matter the circumstances.
What does it mean? Let’s explore.
The Midnight Marathon
It’s 2 AM, and I’m shuffling between my 4.5-year-old daughter’s room and our bedroom, where my 8-month-old son sleeps. Sure, I could settle in the living room for some uninterrupted sleep (despite my cat, who loves to tell me his stories somewhere between 2 and 3 in the morning).
But I know my presence helps my children (and my wife) sleep better. I choose to be there for them.
At the playground, when my daughter asks me to play hide and seek, I’m ready to rumble. I could sit on a bench and scroll through Instagram reels or Reddit threads. And if my daughter wants some alone time or doesn’t need me, that’s perfectly fine.
But I try to be as involved as possible.
And our parental duties extend beyond the playground. We need to think about their food, clothing, doctor visits, hobbies, and homework. It’s up to us to support them when they’re angry, sad, or. No child is born evil, lazy, or unstable.
We are their parents. Our children are new to this world, and it’s our job to guide them. We shape their physical, emotional, and psychological foundation.
Why We Parent
Children didn’t choose to come into this world; we chose to have them. It’s our duty to be there for them. A huge task, but
Parenting isn’t about being perfect.
Yes, it isn’t easy. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed or angry. And you can complain. Venting is normal and necessary.
But it shouldn’t be the default setting.
I can get really annoyed by parents who are constantly talking bad about their kids. I mean, no finger-pointing, but you are the one who decided to have them and you are the one raising them.
I know, I wrote an article on empathy. And yes, I always try to understand other perspectives and lives.
But to be honest, get your things together and “parent up”; it’s your little human by your side who needs you.
Being Present, Patient, and Proactive
Parenting is like being the captain of a ship. The sea may be rough, and storms may come. We might face tsunamis, sharks, and, God forbid, even Ursula from “The Little Mermaid.” Everything might feel like it’s on fire — you, the boat, even the water. But we keep steering the vessel with love, and patience.
Parenting is about being present, patient, and proactive.
It’s about showing up — physically and emotionally:
- There is a small theater presentation in the kindergarten? Go there and watch your child.
- Your child is complaining about a rough day? Listen and react.
- Your child wants you to play hide and seek? You better find a good place to hide (as part of the game). Keep in mind: Five meaningful minutes are more valuable than an hour of distracted time.
It’s about learning to wait and remain calm. There will be ups and downs. When you feel overwhelmed, take a moment to pause:
- Count to three. If you have more time, listen to your favorite song, eat something sweet or spicy, or once everyone is asleep, just try to find 5 minutes of “me” time.
- When you need to vent, talk to your spouse, find a supportive friend, join a parenting group, or write it down. Or, to quote my wife: “Take a nap.”
It’s about thinking ahead:
- Think about possible activities for you and your family.
- Think about possible courses and hobbies your child may like; buy a book you can enjoy together in the evening.
- Decorate their room together. Create a positive environment for your children, one where they feel seen, and valued.
Parent Up
Being a parent is all about responsibility. It requires dedication, patience, and a lot of love.
Our children are not burdens, but blessings (with terms and conditions).
And keep in mind: Parenting means mutual growth. As our children learn and grow, we learn and grow too.
We adapt our approaches, learn from our mistakes, and become better versions of ourselves. It’s a balance of teaching and learning, giving and receiving.
By taking responsibility for our children, we also take responsibility for ourselves.
What do you think? How do you take responsibility for your children?
