The Anxiety of NOT Reading & Writing On Medium for 5 days.
And I haven’t even started yet.
My Macbook Chrome cache, my app-time-consumption-companion QualityTime and my coworker, they all tell me how much I love Medium. And I know that I do.
Here’s the deal. I’m taking a 5 day vacation. And I’m going to some place where I’m sure there won’t be a good internet connection. Which means, no Medium. Which makes me kinda :(
And if you’ve been a constant Medium consumer like me, you’d have guessed where this story is heading. Yes, I’m talking about Facebook and people marching on digital frontiers to #deleteFacebook.
I immediately thought that am I addicted to Medium like I was addicted to Facebook?
Is Medium my new Facebook?
Jesus, fuck. As soon as this thought dawned, I closed my laptop and had a glass of water. There’s a reason why this hit me hard.
From reading multiple books on how to quit bad habits, I had learnt one thing really well. Humans don’t really quit anything; they just replace it. Same goes with our habits.
Had I replaced Facebook with Medium ?
I felt sad. Disappointed.
I might have ruined another good thing that came along my way. Medium. I ruined Medium for myself.
By this time, the stoic in me raised his hand slightly from the lounge chair. And waved thanks with the other hand, to the meditator in me on the porch.
So here’s the conversation between us two:
“Did I fuck up again?”
“Hardly. What makes you think that way? Solid reasons. None of those listicle types you keep reading on Medium.”
“Ouch. Anyway, I feel the same way about Medium right now how I felt about Facebook back then.”
“I’ll fucking spearhead you if you bring up the word feel again.”
“Okay. Calm down. I just meant I might have gotten addicted to Medium. This doesn’t sound like a good thing. Can you help?”
“Yes, and No. Yes to helping you. And No to you being addicted to Medium.”
“Fuck your cryptic talk. Can you talk 2nd grade to me here?”
“Listen closely.
Medium is NOT Facebook. Fact 1 clear.
Facebook wants to steal your time because it cannot ask for money. Simple. Medium asks for money upfront so that it doesn’t have to do murky shit Facebook does. Fact 2 clear.
Medium is not a dopamine machine. You go to Medium to learn & read, not to see another #throwback picture of your pals from two centuries ago. Fact 3 clear.
You have created more content for yourself, and some for Medium the most in past 3 months; as compared to your fucking little lifetime. Did you know you wrote more words than you have your whole life? Did Facebook help you do that? Ever? Productivity & Growth. Fact 4 clear.
Addiction is a compulsive habit. Facebook was. Medium isn’t.
And for the part where you will now be bothered about. Go on, ask now.”
“What if I have anxiety while I’m on vacation?”
“You won’t. And if you do, I’m sure you’ll find an article about this somewhere on Medium.”
So here’s from one writer to another:
Taking breaks is okay. My stoic self told this to me.
I write about millennials, cycling experiences, send open letters to Medium & ruminate about poems I wrote a decade ago.
This month, I’m also doing a “30 days of April, 30 Expressions” 4 lines a day poem. Say hi, or hello; I don’t bite :)
Thanks for reading Writers Guild — A Smedian publication
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