WP4: What Writing Has to Offer
The writer who began this semester could not be more different than the one that’s finishing it right now. For someone who has always gravitated towards writing, this class was still incredibly intimidating. For such a long time, my writing was burdened with fear. I thought that in order for my work to be received well, it had to be perfectly sophisticated and formal. I could agonize over the placement of a particular word for minutes and rewrite a single paragraph for an hour. I was tightly wound and too concerned about what the writing was “supposed” to look like that I had trouble trusting my own judgment.
The approach of this class was thus very refreshing. IDEAS were supposed to be central to our writing and everything else was secondary. Plus, I could essentially write about anything I wanted. My excitement about this newfound freedom with writing was evident at the end of my first post: “I’m starting to realize that I’ve been wasting too much of my energy looking for external validation, asking for permission, reading the instructions, and forcing myself to do things in ways that don’t feel authentic to me. […] It seems it’s time to transgress.” I wanted to be a more effortless, versatile, and confident writer, but this proved to be significantly more challenging than I anticipated it to be.
My WP1 taught me the value of personal writing. I originally chose a topic that sounded interesting, but in reality, had little to do with me. This made it incredibly difficult to establish a purpose and that was necessary for idea-driven writing. After not being able to write even a full paragraph, I switched gears completely and focused on a topic that was much more true to me: my name. I realized that I had picked my previous topic out of fear of being vulnerable. Even during my three years writing for my high school paper, I always strayed away from writing anything about myself or my opinions in anticipation of judgment from my peers and people on the internet. This was identity-based writing, however, so it needed to be personal. WP1 was much easier to write and more purposeful as soon as I decided to stay true to myself.
WP1 also taught me that I have the ability to write down my thoughts uninhibited. The time constraints due to starting over ironically forced me to overcome some of my apprehensions about writing. I remember telling myself “you have good ideas just write them down.” Not having to worry about writing in high falutin language made this incredibly more doable. Although it was difficult, I was happy to realize that I do actually have the ability to write freely if I’m really determined to do so. This skill got stronger with every writing project.
WP2 showed me how writing can work in tandem with other mediums to convey my unique worldview. When I heard the prompt for WP2, I stuck to the first idea that popped in my head: I wanted to show how nearly everything, even the objects in my room, has metaphorical and symbolic significance to me. Given the figurative nature of this idea, it would be hard to express myself solely with traditional writing so I relied heavily on the multi-modal aspect of the project to convey my ideas. I included pictures of the objects as well as original poetry, some of which were written specifically for this assignment, and others were salvaged from the depths of my locked notes app entries. It was incredibly satisfying to see all of the components come together to demonstrate something that was so tough for me to explain otherwise.
Not only did the multi-modal aspect help me express myself more effectively, but it also proved to be a method for connecting deeply with others. The decision to add my personal poems was not an easy one. I truly never thought they would see the light of day or wanted them to, but I knew the project would not be as effective without it. A few weeks later, one of my classmates wrote a kind comment about one of them. That one comment made me feel so appreciated, especially considering I had no clue how it would be received. I began to realize that the more ways I found to share my truest self, the more potential I had to resonate and connect with others.
Although I really liked writing about my past, this class taught me that using writing as a method of spur-of-the-moment catharsis was my favorite. The first time I did this was for the Asynchronous Tuesday assignment. I am always overthinking so it felt therapeutic to transfer some of the chaos occurring in my mind onto paper. I enjoyed it so much that one day when my thoughts were distracting me from my other homework, I decided to stop what I was doing and express them in a post entitled “Just Draw It.” Here, I wrote about how I had just rediscovered my love for creating art in college when I no longer had to worry about being graded. This post is one of my favorites because of the peace of mind it gave me and because it featured the personal, thematic, and multi-modal elements all in one.
I never knew how inquisitive I was until my WP3. I decided to finally explore many of the questions I always had about the relationship between my Middle Eastern heritage and “whiteness.” Completing this project was much tougher than I had anticipated. At times, my curiosity led me astray from my objective. Too often, I would come across a study about Middle Eastern heritage and read several pages of it despite it being irrelevant to the information I was searching for. At the same time, WP3 was the most meaningful to me. By the end of it, I had made informed opinions on matters, which were important in understanding my identity and my community’s place in American society.
Writing means so much more to me than it once did. Before, it was an agonizingly slow and strenuous way to satisfy what was expected of me. Now, writing makes me think of potential more than it does fear. Writing has so much to offer me. It’s a vehicle to heal myself, share my unique perspectives, and establish connections with other people that likely wouldn’t be made in person. Writing is a valuable tool and I look forward to using it to build stronger bonds between myself and others.
