Counseling Skills to Enhance Communication
It’s a common sense that communication is a very important skill. Michael Page Indonesia Salary Benchmark 2020 showed that communication is in top three most important soft skills from entry level, middle management, directors, and above. Effective communication in the workplace, defined as when a message is sent and received accurately is crucial to all business goals (Kashyap, 2019). Workplace communication is said as one of the signs of a high-performance culture.
In spite of its importance, I think we can agree that a lot of people struggle to communicate effectively. There are various people with different background, mindset, personality, and culture — thus we are often required to be aware of their characteristics and find the most suitable way to communicate. Communication is indeed something that we have to keep learning about through trial and error.
During my undergraduate studies, I had the privilege to study about micro skills in Counseling Psychology course. Micro skills is specific competencies for communicating effectively with others (Barsky, 2016). These skills are said provide essential building blocks for interviews, counseling, therapy, advocacy, mediation, and other intervention. There are a lot of helpful counseling and micro skills, but I’ll begin with some simple skills you can try at workplace:
- Attending behavior
Effective attending behavior is a foundation to develop trust. Attending the person you’re talking to can demonstrate genuine interest in them and encourage them to talk. For some tips on attending behavior, you can do SOLER: 1) Squarely face person, 2) use Open posture, 3) Lean toward the person, 4) use Eye contact as appropriate, 5) Relax, keep it natural. Give encouragement such as head nods, smile, or supportive facial expressions.
Other than showing attending behavior, I think that we should not forget to actually pay attention and actively listen because those actions can help you to get the message correctly. Avoid multitasking as it can distract you from what others are saying and show that you’re not paying attention. Try to avoid unnecessary interruptions as well.
- Exploring Content
You can reflect content to verbally summarize back the content or facts of what he/she just said. One of the way to reflect content is by using restatement — repeating or rephrasing what other said to you, e.g. “In other words, …”, “What I’m hearing you say is…”. This is useful when we want to clarify if we’re getting other’s messages right because sometimes there can be discrepancies between what others are saying and our perception of what they are saying. So, I highly recommend to confirm messages by using this skill to reduce miscommunication.
You can also give questions, either open or closed questions in order to explore others’ thoughts. Closed questions, which can be answered by a few words, such as a certain information or a yes or no. Close questions are useful to gather specific information. Open questions on the other side encourage others to talk and provide with maximum information as it invites more elaboration. For example, you can ask, “What do you think about…”, “Could you share more about…”, “Can you give more example about…?”, “What makes you do…?”
When you give questions, remember to focus on the person you’re talking to rather than other people. Be careful not to give multiple questions at once as it leads to confusion. Avoid giving leading questions as well.
- Exploring Feeling
A deeper aspect that you can explore is feeling. To reflect feeling, you can say, “ You feel… because…”. When you have a deeper relationship with someone and both you and the other person are comfortable to express emotions, exploring feeling is also an option. To explore feeling, you can also give closed and open questions, such as “How does that make you feel?”, “I wonder how you’re feeling about that.”.
Disclosure of feelings, or sharing about your own feeling can also be helpful. Choose feelings that you think other is experiencing to show empathy, but remember to turn the focus back to them immediately — not too focus too much on yourself. As an example you can say, “If I were in your position, I would feel… as well.”
Those are only some basic counseling and micro skills and there’s a lot more that you can explore. For me myself, having someone else showing attending behavior, exploring my thoughts and feelings in an appropriate way can help me to feel more understood and I am able to trust that person more. As I learned more about the theories and practiced it in my daily life, I also see how these skills enhance my communication and relationship with others. Somehow, my friends express that they feel comfortable talking to me and I myself feel that the relationships that I have are more meaningful. You can also combine these skills with other counseling principles (check out my article about how to apply person-centered approach at workplace here).
So now, what if we also bring counseling and micro skills into communication in workplace settings? I remember my lecturer telling me that even if we don’t wish to become a counselor, learning about counseling and micro skills can definitely help in our relationships. Through my own experience, I can testify that this is true even in the context of work relationships. What matters is learning how to apply it appropriately, which you can only know through trial and error.
I hope knowing about those skills can give you more insight and enhance the quality of communication in your daily life and in your workplace. If this article is insightful for you, please give it a clap and share it to your friends! Or if you have any feedback or opinions or maybe ideas for the next article, feel free to connect with me here or e-mail me at janicealberta@gmail.com and share your thoughts!
References
Barsky, A. E. (2016). Microskills. https://www.oxfordbibliographies.com/view/document/obo-9780195389678/obo-9780195389678-0017.xml#:~:text=Microskills%20education%20typically%20begins%20with,listening%20and%20interest%20in%20what
Hill, C. E. (2010). Helping skills: Facilitating exploration, insight, and action (3rd ed.). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Kashyap, V. (2019, May 20). Effective communication in the workplace: How and why?. HR Technologist. https://www.hrtechnologist.com/articles/employee-engagement/effective-communication-in-the-workplace-how-and-why/
Michael Page Salary Benchmark (2020). https://www.michaelpage.co.id/sites/michaelpage.co.id/files/16777_mp_id_salary_benchmark_2020_all_web.pdf?utm_source=pi_edm&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=ID-MP-7013Y000001HieuQAC-CT14-CH1-NON-Salary_Benchmark_2020_Report-CONT
Sbanotto, E. A. N., Gingrich, H. D., & Gingrich, F. C. (2016). Skills for effective counseling: A faith-based integration. Downer Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
